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Bella and the Beast by Olivia Drake

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C

Bella and the Beast

by Olivia Drake
November 3, 2015 · St. Martin's Paperbacks
Contemporary RomanceErotica/Erotic RomanceNovellaRomance

This RITA® Reader Challenge 2016 review was written by Harper Gray. This story was nominated for the RITA® in the Long Historical category.

The summary:

Bella Jones’ father, Sir Seymour Jones, was an explorer/adventurer who revealed to her on his deathbed that the late Duke of Aylwin, whom he helped inquire antiquities in Egypt, had promised him half of a pharaoh’s treasure. However, Bella must find the map to the hidden trove to prevent her and her brother and sister from living in poverty.

Bella takes a job as a curator working for the late duke’s son to help him catalogue his father’s artifacts in London. She doesn’t reveal who she is or what her motives are, but when the attraction between them because impossible to ignore, the issue of the hidden treasure becomes a more complicated secret than either of them could ever imagine.

Here is Harper Gray's review:

This book should have been my catnip. Brooding Egyptologist hero! Well-travelled curator heroine! Manorial espionage and mystery! I was there for that like you wouldn’t believe.

Unfortunately, the book wasn’t really there with me.

This is, again, a part of a series—the fourth installment by all appearances. The framing narrative is the presentation to a young woman of unspeakably judgmental shoes (they only fit if she’s worthy of true love?!) by a professional matchmaker (fairy status unknown). It’s a bit unfortunate, really, since the story would not only have been better off without the back-bending to make Lady Milford’s intervention necessary, it would have stood a fighting chance of almost making sense.

Even more than Lady Milford, though, the story has Sir Seymour Jones to thank for an awful lot of head-scratching. There have been baronetcies created for Joneses, but given Sir Seymour’s predilection for ancient artefacts I maintain the probability of an homage to Indy. What dingbattery the story can’t lay at the feet of Lady Milford is largely due to Sir Seymour being a terrible archaeologist, an irresponsible baronet and parent, and generally rather dumb.

For example, for reasons too spoilery to mention here, Sir Seymour never mentions the Grayson family or his relationship to them to his daughter. Apparently, it is mentioned nowhere in his notes (of which Bella is the curator), either. Now, it is not spoilery to say that Sir Seymour and our beastly hero’s father – to say nothing of our beastly hero himself – were really very close indeed. On the other hand, it is never particularly well explained just how our Lady Milford knew the late baronet.

But I suppose we are meant to trust the judgment of the shoes: Clearly it makes more sense for a matchmaker to cause a young woman to deceive a reclusive beast of an Egyptologist into granting her employment so that she can sneak around his mansion looking for a map, rather than for Bella to contact the son of her father’s old professional associate (or, if we’re going to maintain the pretence of her father resolutely not mentioning their relationship at all, one of his other professional associates, of which there had to have been plenty, since you don’t manage to have an archaeological career without them, even in the late nineteenth century) in order to find out (a) who this Aylwin is and (b) what he knows about a treasure and a map.

The beastly hero – who is a very beastly beast, apparently, despite being devastatingly handsome and at worst only slightly grumpy and extremely reclusive – does have a decent motive not to trust this woman who comes barging in, claiming relationship with a man to whom he (not a spoiler, promise) looked up to almost as a father-figure and who disappeared mysteriously out of his life. But he decides to accept her as an employee based on the conviction that he can wring information out of her about an event that occurred when she was very young and that she at best hardly remembers. After all, she doesn’t remember him, and they were apparently fairly close at that time (or as close children with a hefty age difference can be).

That being said, once the story gets on a roll, the relationship between Aylwin and Bella is engaging and enjoyable. They’re neither of them stupid people (except when the plot needs them to be), and there were some genuinely delightful moments of chemistry between them.

Aylwin did have an irritating tendency to mansplain Bella’s negative reactions to him. While I appreciate the effort to show a man realising that his actions might have been interpreted differently than they were meant and why, the fact that Bella had gone through the same motions scant paragraphs before felt more heavy-handed than convincing.

Bella was…a puzzle. She had grown up in a variety of far-off lands and acquired a variety of skills, but few of these were detailed enough to seem believable. One’s mileage obviously will vary regarding factual errors, so while the ones I found bothered me I don’t think it’s really fair to make a big deal out of them. What I found more unsettling was an apparent attempt to approximate having a POC character (or at least having a third-culture-kid character who feels like a fish out of water in the dominant culture) while at the same time exoticising her and her experience.

I’m annoyed that I can’t make myself more coherent on this point, but I have reread this book a couple of times while writing this review and still can’t figure out how to make my discomfort more articulate. Perhaps it’s partially the fact that Drake draws attention (through speech, clothing, memories) to the fact that Bella has had these experiences in other cultures and feels “othered” in England, yet she doesn’t provide enough specific (and accurate) detail or atmosphere to convince me that these experiences where believable. Her siblings don’t appear to suffer the same compunctions that she does, and they would have had a similar upbringing.

And it isn’t just Bella who has this problem; the Egyptian valet, Mr Hasani, is repeatedly described in stereotypical terms. To get into it does involve spoilers for the ending, so be warned:

Show Spoiler
He turns out to be the villain of the piece in a scene that would have been laughably ridiculous were it not uncomfortably stereotypical. The only foreigner – the one who is “not one of us” – turns out to be the villain. The Egyptian turns out to be a fanatic defender of the pharaoh’s tomb and its treasure. If Bella’s description made me uncomfortable, the resolution of this book’s mystery just made me queasy.

And while we’re on the subject of the ending, let’s talk about Bella’s archival skills for a moment:

Show Spoiler
The answers to all their questions would likely be contained in Sir Seymour’s journals and papers from the dig in Egypt. But Bella has never seen these and has no idea where they would be, despite curating her father’s research and managing his papers. That is to say, she has no idea until the boxes are moved into Aylwin’s house, and then, hey! They’re in one of the first freaking boxes she opens there. This whole book could have taken half the time – or been twice as interesting and made twice as much sense – if Bella had had a better filing system. And the fact that she apparently is unaware of his Egyptian papers until this moment makes even less sense considering that finding this treasure depends upon her having half of a map, which also depends upon her knowing where it is. It’s all well and good that they thought her father would live longer and tell her more, but surely it would have been better planning to tell her to find his Egyptian papers rather than the other half of a map she’s never heard of before.

All in all, this is an odd book. By the end I found myself in the weird position of having enjoyed it while not believing in it at all. Readers with backgrounds in archaeology and related fields might wish to take note that the professional representation of archaeology and curatorial work is pretty much on par with an Indiana Jones film. The mystery and manorial espionage was decently fun, though, as was the interaction between Aylwin and Bella.

Having read it and reread it, I just can’t stop shrugging uncomfortably in response. Parts of it were fun, other parts left a bad taste in my mouth. Parts of it were well thought out, others made no sense at all. Overall, it’s a pessimistic-tending ‘meh’.


Break Me Down by Roni Loren

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A-

Break Me Down

by Roni Loren
October 27, 2015 · InterMix
RomanceRomantic Suspense

This RITA® Reader Challenge 2016 review was written by Goodreads. This story was nominated for the RITA® in the Erotic Romance category.

The summary:

The New York Times bestselling author of Call on Me invites you to discover the thrill of control as one couple wrestles for power in and out of the bedroom…

Samantha Dunbar needs to forget Gibson Andrews. When he trained her to be a domme, she experienced just how hot things could get with the sexy executive. She was ready to hand him everything—including her heart. But Gibson backed away, declaring them incompatible. He’s a dominant, and Sam’s no submissive.

But after an attack shakes Sam to her core, Gibson tracks her down at her family’s rundown farmhouse and makes her an offer. He’ll stay the week and be hers in every way—a helping hand for the renovation and a willing lover in her bed. He swore he’d never give up control to anyone again, but he hasn’t been able to touch another woman since Sam. Maybe a week alone with her will cure him of his relentless craving.

But one taste only makes them want more, and Sam and Gibson are drawn in deeper than ever. The man who won’t give in has just met the girl who won’t give up…

Here is Goodreads's review:

I didn’t receive a 2016 RITA® Reader Challenge review for this book, so I’m compiling quotes from reviews online and using the grade average from Goodreads as a substitute.

This book has a 4.03 average, which I’m interpreting as an A-.

Meli Mel *Ty and Zane’s Creeper* wrote:

…This was the first book I have read where the dominant in this bdsm relationship is a woman. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about it, but I’m glad to say that I really enjoyed it. Sam was a likable character and she did really great for herself despite her horrible upbringing in foster care. I also really liked Gibson and he was a great character despite also having a not so great childhood. However, it did affect him in not wanting to be a submissive. I loved how he cared about Sam and that he would do something that made him uncomfortable and unsure just to make sure she was okay. His feelings for her ran deep and it showed, except for when he was didn’t want to accept how he was. I liked the dynamic and the chemistry between them. It was all kinds of hot, and not once did Gibson seem emasculated by being submissive.

This is a novella, so, their story did begin before the book began, but it actually worked. I almost didn’t even need to see any scenes of them in the past. Even though it was a short read I was able to connect with them. It was very well developed and you could feel the relationship between them grow. It never felt like I was reading a novella. The sex scenes were definitely hot but not for everyone. There was talk about rape fantasies and such that may make it difficult for some to enjoy. There were some emotional parts in this one so it wasn’t all just sex, and a bit of angst that kept things interesting. Overall, I found this to be a really great read.

Christy LoveOfBooks wrote

…These two are quite the pair. They push each other in ways they both need to be pushed, emotionally and physically. It was so much fun watching them work everything out, and very touching and sweet at times. Really, the romance was wonderfully done…

Cézanne Hayden-Dilbert’s wrote:

…Both character’s had issues from the pasts that they were still battling with. I loved how the story delved into both their past and present issues. Gibson had true inner turmoil and it was written in such a way that I could not help but care for him. I enjoyed the fact they we had the chance to hear both characters inner thoughts and concerns. I liked both characters but it did take me a few chapters before I warmed up to Samantha. It bothered me that she wasn’t as empathetic to Gibson’s issues as he was to hers. I did eventually warm up to her though…

Vanessa Booke wrote:

If you’re looking for a great story about a male submissive and female Domme, then this is definitely the story for you. Roni Loren’s writing sucked me in from the very beginning and kept me hanging on until the very end. Although Break Me Down isn’t a full-length novel, it still feels like it is. Roni does an amazing job building her characters and the challenges between them. Each chapter is well written and meaty with plenty to keep you engaged. It also helps that she always has the best sex scenes! 😉

As I got to the end of the story, I was certain that Break Me Down would end a particular way and then it didn’t, which was pleasantly surprising. I rarely cry with books, but there I was crying at the very end. Ms. Loren wraps this story up perfectly. As a big fan of hers, I can’t tell you how excited I was to see Pike, Foster, and Grant in this story. Even if it was only for a few chapters. I’ll definitely take what I can get.

Overall, I would definitely recommend reading Break Me Down. It takes a special kind of author to have you falling in love with characters in such a short amount of time, but Roni Loren does this flawlessly.

 

Whatcha Reading? July 2016 Edition

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Cup of coffee and yarn for knitting on plaid with books close-upIt’s time. We talk about what we’re reading.

We buy all the books everyone else is reading.

It’s the most wonderful thread each month! You ready? Let’s do this!

Sarah: I’m reading all the Mary Balogh Regency re-releases. One after the other. A Certain Magic ( A | BN | K | ARe | iB ) was wonderful. I may have to read it again.

I’m also reading Rebekah Weatherspoon’s vampires lesbian sorority book, Better Off Red ( A | BN | K | ARe | iB ). I thought I had the book on a 9-hour flight but no, it was just the sample and I was piiiiiisssssed at myself.

Shiny Broken Pieces
A | BN | K | ARe | iB
Redheadedgirl: Noooooooooooo

I am reading Shiny Broken Pieces, the sequel to Tiny Pretty Things. Pretty Little Liars meets Center Stage. It’s so good.

I am also reading The End of The Perfect 10 ( A | BN | K | G | ARe | iB ), about the evolution of gymnastics since Nadia hit the first perfect 10 in 1976 and how the new, open-ended scoring system has impacted things, which is GREAT reading in the run up to Rio.

Elyse: I’m reading Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo ( A | BN | K | G | ARe | iB ), a fantasy series set in a country similar to Russia. I’m also reading the thriller All the Missing Girls ( A | BN | K | G | ARe | iB )

Love on My Mind
A | BN | K | ARe | iB
Amanda: I’m reading Love on My Mind by Tracey Livesay. So much competence porn. Seriously, everyone is so smart and capable.

Then getting back to Offensive Behavior by Ainslie Paton ( A ). I discovered her book on BookThingo (it’s described as “near-Olympian turned pole dancer meets laid-off drunkard virgin tech tycoon”) after Paton did a guest post on misogyny as a plot device.

Carrie: Arabella of Mars by David D. Levine! ( A | BN | K | G | ARe | iB )

So, what are you reading this month? Tell us what books you’ve loved. Which ones were meh? 


By request, since we can’t link to every book you mention in the comments, here are bookstore links that help support the site with your purchases. If you use them, that’s so great of you, and if you’d prefer not to, that’s cool too. Thank you so much for hanging out with us, and hopefully you found something good to read!

Amazon BN Logo Kobo AllRomance Ibookstore Google Play audible

Heads Up: The 2016 RITA Awards Livestream!

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This year, RWA is live-streaming the festivities once again at 8:00pm PST (11:00pm EST) this Saturday, July 16th! Unfortunately, due to holy-cow travel and a death in the family, I won’t be able to be online during the RITAs, and I’m very sorry to miss the fun. I know the live stream is a blast to watch, and I hope that if you can, you’ll tune in.

If you’d like to peruse the books up for a RITA this year, find yourself a comfy seat and read through the reviews from this year’s challenge! Here they are broken down by genre:

Romance novella
Short contemporary
Short historical
Mid-length contemporary
YA romance
Inspirational
Paranromal romance
Best First Book
Romantic suspense
Long contemporary
Erotic romance
Long historical

If you’d prefer the quick and dirty overview, we compiled all of the grades this year in a spreadsheet.

Big huge thanks to everyone who reviewed a book this year, and extra big huge thanks to Amanda for coordinating the project.

Anyone care to make predictions on the winners? What will you be drinking while you watch?

UPDATE: The winners are listed here! Congratulations to all the authors!

Facing Fire by HelenKay Dimon

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A-

Facing Fire

by HelenKay Dimon
September 29, 2015 · Avon
ParanormalRomance

This RITA® Reader Challenge 2016 review was written by Emily A. This story was nominated for the RITA® in the Romantic Suspense category.

The summary:

When his uncle is brutally murdered, Josiah King knows that business just got personal. His uncle’s ties to the Alliance can mean only one thing: Josiah and his black ops team are targets, along with everyone they love. Primed for vengeance, Josiah is determined to unravel the plot—until long-legged redhead Sutton Dahl becomes a dangerous distraction.

Sutton’s dream job turned into a nightmare when her boss hired someone to kill her. With nowhere else to run, she turns to Josiah. Secretive, strong, and much too sexy, he’s a puzzle she longs to solve, and a temptation she can’t ignore.

Thrown together in the face of Alliance’s most lethal threat, Josiah and Sutton become unlikely partners, fighting for their lives even as the attraction between them flares into real passion. Torn between his team and the woman who means everything to him, Josiah will risk it all to save Sutton, even if that decision is his last.

Here is Emily A.'s review:

Warning: This review contains some spoilers.

I really enjoyed reading this book. I had never read this author before, but I was interested after hearing the author on the podcast with Elyse.

This book was action-packed! It was an adrenaline-fueled read with lots of drama. A times it was almost too dramatic and really very dark. I am always a little surprised at how dark so many books and series that fold into the romance genre can be. This book was as dark as the In Death series, except there was no rape.

Josiah is in some kind of covert operations group. They’re hunting down a man who sells weapons to turn a profit and doesn’t care who gets killed in the process. The weapons dealer has started to enjoy violence for its own sake and wants revenge on the group. Sutton is hunting the same man, because she also knows he can kill. She accidentally gets information the weapons dealer had on the group. The hero and heroine have to learn to trust each other so they can get rid of the villain.

I really liked the beginning and how much of the opening interactions and dialogue between the couple were non-sexualized. They do check each other out a little, but there is a lot to be done and worked out before they can let down their guards and get it on. Considering the situation is already dicey, what with Josiah and his group questioning the heroine to find out what she knows, I liked the fact that his motives were tactical and not sexual. The hero and heroine build chemistry realistically and there were steamy scenes later on.

That being said, I did feel like the connection the hero and heroine had was real. It started as sparks and grew. They had similar experiences and world views to draw on. Josiah, at times, was intimidating, but the heroine was a good match for him and not intimidated. My favorite thing about Sutton was that no matter how she held her own as private investigator in a black ops world, she never let anyone turn her into a victim.

I had three problems with the story. One was I got confused about what day it was, and at times, it felt like it was all one day. Secondly, my biggest problem was how depressed Josiah was and how he seemed to be bogged down emotionally. Then, after everything, he just sort of bounced back after talking to his friend, Mike. That being said, I would assume the special ops training he had sort of allowed him to let go after a mission was completed. I still feel like given how depressed and coming-apart he was, he would need some sort of counseling, but the group he works for would probably arrange that.

I really appreciated how the author spent a lot of time decompressing after all of the action was over. I liked that the fallout was real. The characters had to deal and live with what had happened versus acting like it had all gone away. My third problem is just personally the book at one point was too dark for me, but I wouldn’t downgrade the book for that.

I love this book so much that I now have two previous books from the series in my TBR pile already. One book I bought was a novella that actually comes before all of the other books (it’s number 0.5). Based on reading blurbs, the couples from books 1 and 2 are mentioned, but aren’t really in this book. The heroine in the novella Running Hot was a main character in this book, and I can’t wait for her story. I mention all of this for people who are concerned about reading a series out of order.

Movie Review: Ghostbusters

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So far the game plan of making sure to throw money at movies that make whiney bros mad is working out pretty damn well. (See: Mad Max.) THIS IS NO EXCEPTION.

(Text to the rest of the Bitches as I left the theater: “Sarah I’m really mad at you. Because you won’t let me give Ghostbusters a grade of A++++++++++++++++++++++billion.”)

If you somehow missed all of this, this movie is a remake of the 1984 movie, which starred Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson. In this year’s version, the four leads are played by Melissa McCarthy, Kristin Wiig, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones.  McCarthy, Wiig, and McKinnon are scientists studying the paranormal, who team up with Jones as the person who actually knows things about New York in order to stop a paranormal invasion.

Y’all.  Y’ALL. It’s PERFECT. It’s EVERYTHING. I laughed so hard I almost peed (I’m not kidding. It was a VERY near thing). My stomach muscles still hurt.

We already know about the comedic genius of McCarthy and Wiig, especially when Paul Feig is involved. They’re amazing. But the real revelations here are Jones and McKinnon. Jones sinks her TEETH into everything, and McKinnon- my god, MCKINNON. She was having the time of her life as the builder of all the toys. I’ve long since stopped watching SNL, but if that’s what I need to get more Kate McKinnon in my life, maybe I’ll have to go back. (I’d really rather not, so Hollywood please give Kate more work in other stuff.)

We also need to talk about Chris Hemsworth as Kevin, the pretty but dim receptionist. He’s REALLY good at comedy, and he should REALLY do more. Lots more. Forget the action star roles, boyo, and be funny! (There’s a gag with glasses that almost killed me.)

Jones’ character has come under some fire for being the non-scientist of the group- why does the only Black character have to be the non-scientist?  Jones herself has said she doesn’t care about that, and she does so much with her character, and she’s the one that puts the science together to defeat the Big Bad, so… sure, I’ll take one of the plus signs off the grade.

What made this work so well is that it was a remake, sort of, that referenced and honored it’s predecessor without just being a shot for shot remake. There were homages and cameos aplenty (no Rick Moranis, sadly), but it was it’s own movie with it’s own plot. And it’s VERY clear to me that Paul Feig looked at the brewing shitstorm when it was announced that an all-female remake was being made and turned the misandry up to about 43.

So let’s talk about the Bros who are flooding the online review sites claiming this movie is ruining their childhood. A: No it’s not. Your childhood is right where you left it, unchanged. Another movie that does not replace the 1984 in history doesn’t change a damn thing. B: Shut up. C: Wow, suddenly not 100% of media isn’t catering to you! LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT BECAUSE THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS. D: SHUT UP NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK.

Remaking formerly all-dude properties into all-female ensembles isn’t the be-all and end-all of Hollywood’s woman problem, and barely touches on the lack of PoC problem, but it’s a start.

I watched this in a theater that was mostly full of women, who were laugh-crying, hooting, hollering, APPLAUDING, and generally having a great time. (One dude hollered “SHIT” at the final end-credits scene, much to the delight of all.) The women sitting next to me were as into everything as I was, and we chatted briefly as we were leaving- one of them said “It was all nostalgia. And Perfection. AND SO GOOD.” (NOTE: Stay through ALL the credits.  ALL OF THEM.)

I loved the 1984 movie, but it never occurred to me that girls could be Ghostbusters, too. What makes me excited is that there’s never going to be another generation where that’s true. Go bust some ghosts, girls. We all got your backs.

Ghostbusters is in theaters now and you can find tickets (US) at Fandango and Moviefone.

 

Romance Wanderlust: Rent Your Own Island

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Romance Wanderlust - a yellowed and burnt edge map with a compass in the corner, with Romance Wanderlust written across itThis is the time of year when those of us in the Northern Hemisphere are either at the beach, or wishing we were at the beach. Of course, this means that if you are lucky enough to get to a beach, you are probably sharing it with many, many other people. But what if you didn’t have to do that? What if you had your own beach? Heck, what if you could rent your very own island? Read on, for the Internet is here to help with that.

Please keep in mind that I have yet to rent an island, nor am I likely to unless my husband manages to turn that broken vacuum cleaner motor that he won’t throw out into some sort of highly marketable clean energy device. So this is neither a review nor an endorsement of any company, individual, or location.

If you Google “Rent an Island” not only will you fail to accomplish anything for the rest of the day, but you will also find an incredible number of islands for rent all over the world. Here are three examples, with scenarios to match. All book titles are made up (by me). All locations are real.  Google at your own risk.

  1. Scenario 1: You are billionaire with a mysterious past and a deep need to be recognized and adored by the society that both uses you for your funds and scorns you as being “new money”. You long to reconnect with your old love. You persuade her to join you at your island retreat for a week long bash in luxurious style, accompanied by your guests and your extensive but discreet staff. Champagne will flow, jewels will sparkle and chocolate fondue flow from fountains along the torch lit beach. But will a private moment in a rose-petal sprinkled room in the Florida Keys grant you a happier ending than that of Gatsby and Daisy? Find out in The Key to Her Heart, set on Little Palm Island Resort and Spa.

  1. A council of politicians from several countries is meeting to discuss new environmental initiatives. In hopes of winning hearts and minds, your environmental group raises the money to host the politicians for one weekend at Cayo Espanto in Belize, where they will see first hand the wonders you hope they will protect. As the group’s leading expert on the local ecosystem, you are sent on the trip as well – your job is to spend the weekend taking the politicians boating and exploring and educating them about the issues. For the most part, this means answering questions like, “What is this shell called? Can I keep it? It’s so shiny!” But one person takes every opportunity to ask hard-hitting (and annoying) questions. This person is, of course, the most right wing, hotshot, up and coming young aide of the bunch. You can’t stand him and yet you are madly attracted to him. Can lust turn to love despite political differences in Bickering in Belize?

  1. After a terrible tragedy befalls you, you just want to get away from the world for a while. You move into a cottage on a “private island in sunny Hvaler,” off the coast of Norway, where you can sit by the fire pit, read, and knit, free from distractions like Wi-Fi and electricity in general. But what about the distraction of the sexy fisherman in woolen sweaters who brings you fresh-caught fish and drinking water and a new book every day? Could love be born again Next Time in Norway?

 

Cabin on Norway island, ariel view

 

Which would you choose? Or do you have your own island to recommend?

99c Contemporary Romances!

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Somebody to Love

Somebody to Love by Kristan Higgins is 99c! This is the third book in the Gideon’s Cove series and is a small town, renovation romance. Readers thought there was a great balance between romance and humor, and while many agree it’s a great lighthearted romance, there’s nothing new or unpredictable here. Any Gideon’s Cove fans in the Bitchery?

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Kristan Higgins is back with a hilarious and heartwarming new story about a rich girl who discovers that a little hard work may be just the thing she needs…

After her father loses the family fortune in an insider-trading scheme, single mom Parker Welles is faced with some hard decisions. First order of business: go to Gideon’s Cove, Maine, to sell the only thing she now owns—a decrepit house in need of some serious flipping. When her father’s wingman, James Cahill, asks to go with her, she’s not thrilled…even if he is fairly gorgeous and knows his way around a toolbox.

Having to fend for herself financially for the first time in her life, Parker signs on as a florist’s assistant and starts to find out who she really is. Maybe James isn’t the glib lawyer she always thought he was. And maybe the house isn’t the only thing that needs a little TLC.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

This book is on sale at:

Amazon Barnes & Noble Kobo Google Play iBooks

 

 

 

Break the Rules

RECOMMENDED: Break the Rules by Claire Boston is 99c! This is a workplace contemporary romance and Elyse gave it a B+ grade in a Lightning Review (our shorter reviews that are 350 words or less):

This book worked because Jack realizes that he’s actually less qualified than Bridget for the job, and that sexism inherent in their industry has held her back from being successful. I liked that they come together as a team and I liked that this book explores a career that’s not often depicted in romance.

Bridget Flanagan knows how to assess risks, but are the consequences of exposing her heart too dangerous?

Bridget has a passion for safety and in the world of oil refineries that makes her great at her job. So when her big promotion goes to someone else, she heads out on the town to forget her troubles. Jack Gibbs seems like the perfect man to distract her.

At least until Monday morning when she discovers Jack is her new boss. There’s no way she’s going to keep seeing him, no matter the connection between them. She’s been burned before.

Jack can’t understand why Bridget’s so against their relationship. They positively sizzled during their one night together. He knows he has to be careful now she reports to him, but she tempts him in every way.

Can Jack convince Bridget to give him a chance, or is the risk too high?

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

This book is on sale at:

Amazon Barnes & Noble Kobo iBooks

 

 

 

Riot

Riot by Jamie Shaw is 99c! This is the book two in the new adult Mayhem series, which tends to focus on rockstar/musician heroes. Readers warn that it’s a bit of an angsty, emotional rollercoaster, which may or may not be your catnip. It has a 4.1-star rating on Goodreads. Have you read this one?

When Dee Dawson meets sexy mohawked guitarist Joel Gibbon, she knows it won’t be long before she has him wrapped around her finger. No guy has ever been able to resist her … but Dee’s met her match in a player like Joel.

Dee’s not the relationship type—not after seeing the pain “love” has caused her friends and family—yet she’s desperate to make Joel want her more than anyone else. He quickly becomes an obsession, and when a reckless attempt to make him jealous ends in disaster, Dee turns into the damsel in distress she never wanted to be. With her carefree world crashing down around her, the last thing she needs is Joel’s pity.

But Joel is suddenly determined to prove he cares, and no matter how hard Dee tries to push him away, he refuses to let her shut him out. Now the girl who swore she’d never say those three little words must choose between guarding her heart and losing Joel forever … or falling head over heels for the tattooed rock star of her dreams.

 

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Turn It Up

Turn It Up by Inez Kelley is 99c! This is a friends to lovers, workplace romance between two radio hosts. Readers loved the frank discussions about sex and is recommended to fans of Frasier and NewsRadio. (Sidenote: Though I’m in my twenties, I loved watching reruns of NewsRadio.) However, some felt the execution, especially in regards to character depth, was a little lacking.

Dr. Bastian Talbot and self-proclaimed sex goddess Charlie Pierce heat up the air waves with their flirty banter as radio hosts Dr. Hot and the Honeypot. Off the air, they’re best friends…but Bastian wants to be so much more. He wants Charlie—in bed, and forever.

Problem is, Charlie doesn’t do commitment. Sure, she’s had X-rated fantasies of Bastian, but he was always just a friend—until he impulsively proposes and unleashes the lust they’ve been denying for years. Charlie’s willing to explore where their wild chemistry leads, but she won’t marry him. And he won’t have sex with her until she accepts his proposal, despite her seductive schemes.

What are Dr. Hot and the Honeypot to do? Ask their listeners for advice on how to tame a sex kitten and turn a perfect gentleman into a shameless lover. The Race to Wed or Bed is on…who will turn up on top?

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Outlander 2.13: “Dragonfly in Amber”

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Claire in The Red Dress with panniers and jamie in a cravat it's seriously hotWe open on a scene from The Avengers – not those Avengers, the British show from the 1960s (HEY DIANA RIGG YOU ARE AMAZING). It’s 1968, and the camera pans back to reveal a pack of children crowded around the TV, and behind them a man is also watching, well “watching” but really staring into the middle distance that comes from exhaustion and/or grief. If you remove the floppy 1960s hair, you may recognize him as the hot Scottish doctor from The Crimson Field. A woman comes in, and tells him that he ought to get back to his guests (“they keep asking for you”), and he knows she’s not wrong, but he really doesn’t want to. But he does anyway.

In front of a crowd of adults, he gets their attention by tapping on his glass – he thanks them all for coming, it would have meant a great deal to his father. “And if you knew him, you’d know he was not one for leaving anything to chance. Including the toast for his own wake. To Death, the jolly old bouncer now. Our glasses let’s be clinking. If he hadn’t put other out, I trow, tonight we’d not be drinking.” To the Reverend. A woman is in the back, and I swear, I did not recognize her as Claire until she took a drink, because the way Claire holds her whiskey glass is distinctive, and the 60s hair is so unlike her.

The man accepts condolences from many people – his father was a great man, a funny man, he’ll be missed, but the man – Roger – is distracted by a young woman with long red hair going into another room. He excuses himself to go talk to her, but keeps being stopped by well-wishers. He goes into a room, and an American(ish) voice behind him asks if he’s Roger Wakefield. It’s the red-headed woman, and Roger is like, my heart went boom. “Yes. Definitely. That’s me. Yes.” He hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting her, though. Claire remembers him though – “After all these years.” Roger is confused, but then he was only 7 or 8 when he last saw Claire. She introduces herself, and her daughter, Brianna.

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Claire and Brianna were in London when they heard about the Reverend (how? 1960s Facebook?) – it was his heart, very quick. Claire says that she hadn’t seen the Reverend in a very long time, but she was fond of him. “So was Daddy,” Brianna breaks in, and Claire’s like “yeah, Frank too.” That’s enough to wig Roger’s memory, and he suddenly realizes who Claire is. “You’re a nurse, as I recall?” Claire says that she’s a doctor now (Brianna: “She’s being modest. She’s a surgeon.”) and that she and Bree are visiting from the States. Boston, where Bree is a history major at Harvard. Roger: I’m on leave from the history department at Oxford! Bree is suitably impressed (or possibly not – it’s hard to tell).

Claire asks if Mrs. Graham is still there, but she died a few years ago. Her granddaughter is around. Claire muses plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose, and excuses herself to go take a look around. Bree and Roger awkward at each other, and Roger starts – first time in Scotland? Will you have time to take in the sights? The Randalls’ plan is to head back down to London that night. “Oh that’s a shame. Beautiful, wild country.” Bree says that she’s long been curious about Scotland, since it was a special place to both her parents.

Fiona, the woman from before, breaks in to tell Roger that it’s time to say goodbye, people are leaving. She looks like a drab brown bird next to Brianna’s tall, sharp hawkishness. Roger excuses himself.

Claire walks through the house, seeing the various bits of historical artifacts, and musing that Mrs. Graham had told her not to chase a ghost the rest of her life, but now that she was there, the ghosts were chasing her. She’s still wearing Jamie’s ring.

Roger sends off the last of the guests, and Claire and Bree are among the last. They should be going, but Roger’s like, London is a long ass drive. No, the plan is to drive as far as they can and then stop in a pub for the night (UK peeps, is it still possible to crash in a pub for the night? Is that still a thing?) Roger will not hear of it; he has plenty of room! Claire tries to decline, but Roger scoffs (“OCH”) and says he’d like the company. Bree: Better than driving down the wrong side of the road in the dark (word, Bree) and besides, it would give her time to take in the sights. “I hear it’s a beautiful, wild country.” Claire, sensing the smoking hot chemistry between the two of them, is okay with it, and remembers that the guest room is at the top of the stairs.

That night, Claire in the the library, drinking, and Roger comes in. Claire couldn’t sleep, and neither could Roger, so they drink together (he’s smoking, people. SMOKING. HOT). Roger wistfully says that he used to beg the Reverend to throw things out, and now he can barely bring himself to do it. Claire: There’s a lot of history here. “Not just the family’s, but Scotland as well.” The college at Inverness has asked for his library, and Roger will give them most of it. But not everything. “He was quite fond of several rare editions of Prince Charles Stuart and the Battle of Culloden.” Claire looks sharply at him. “Culloden.” Roger, not understanding what she means, explains that it was the final battle of the ‘45. “My ancestors fought and died there, actually.” See, his true surname isn’t Wakefield. It’s MacKenzie, and his parents were Jerry and Marjorie MacKenzie. Claire says that she used to know quite a few MacKenzies, once upon a time.

Roger asks if he might ask her a personal question, and the camera pushes in on his sad face – so terribly sad. “How did you do it? Finally say goodbye to that one person you loved most in all the world?” Claire says that she hasn’t been very good at saying goodbye, and that’s the hell of it – whether you say it or not, they are gone and you have to go on without them. “Because that’s what they would want.” Claire thanks him for the whiskey and wishes him a goodnight.

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At the window in the guest room, Claire looks at the moon, then at Brianna, sound asleep. Claire tucks in the blankets a touch more snuggly and whispers, “God, you are so like him.” The picture fades from Brianna’s hair to Jamie’s as he trudges with Charles – fucking Charles – through the camp at Culloden. It’s April 16th, and it is 7:23 am.

Jamie tells Charles that the army isn’t ready for battle – they are cold, they are starving, and they must retreat before the British realize the advantage and squish them all. Charles whips his head around, and loftily says that Jamie is his Doubting Thomas, and “Mark me, before this day is over, I will make a believer of you.” Ugh.

Jamie finds Claire and mutters darkly that it’s a blessing that Colum didn’t live to see this. Claire: It’s the Prince. Jamie: It’s the battle. Murtagh rides up and reports that Cumberland has broken camp and the British army is on the move – they’ll be there soon. Jamie tells him to report to the Stuffed Shirt generals. Claire: I have one last idea – but I can’t tell you in public. They head inside.

Back in 1968, Brianna and Roger drive through the Scottish countryside to 60’s soul music (that’s what the subtitles say). Roger opens a gate in a large stone building, and Bree walks through…it’s Fort William. He gives her the historical notes, on the use of the British army, and she says, “Military history isn’t really my speciality.” Roger flails for a second, “It was your father’s, though, right?” Bree reminisces about dropping an ice cream cone off of Fort Ticonderoga while Frank held forth on the heroics of Ethan Allen.

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Roger reaches into what he knows about American history and embarrasses himself, and Bree’s like, dude, I live in Boston. Rev War history is a religious text in Boston. “With Washington as the messiah and Benedict Arnold as Judas, no doubt.” “Benedict Arnold is a deeply misunderstood historical figure.” Roger: I thought you didn’t do military history. Bree affects a bad Scottish accent: “We Randalls are a verra complicated clan, laddie.” He’s SMITTEN. AND HOT.

Bree asks if he remembers her father, and he remembers bits and pieces – snappy dresser, hat down over one eye. And he seemed kind. Bree: He was. The kindest man in the world. The camera angle shifts and we see that they’re having this conversation in front of the whipping post in the courtyard. Roger says that Claire seems kind, as well, and Bree rolls her eyes. She lives in another world. Bree says that this place gives her the chills and Roger is like yeah, lots of Scots were flogged and died here. Lots of blood in this ground.

Claire is in her own car, and drives and drives until she pulls into Lallybroch. The roof is gone; it’s a crumbling hulk. There’s a For Sale sign as memories pile up – Jamie telling her about how his father built the house, meeting wee Jamie and Jenny, the potatoes, the birth of Maggie…Jamie saying she belonged here. Claire sits on the steps and there’s a ghost or memory or ghost of a memory of Jamie in the arch. Just for a minute. She gets back into the car, leaving the shell behind.

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Back in 1746, it’s 7:36 am, once away from prying ears, Claire explains that everything is hinged on Charles, and if they removed him from the equation, then it would all stop. Right? Jamie: What the fuck (it’s in Gaelic, but that’s what I’m assuming he said). Claire: I have the same thing Colum took (oh yeah by the way he committed suicide, did you know? No? He did though). Jamie: WHAT THE FUCK. Claire: I’ve been treating him for scurvy, I could put this in his tea. Jamie: What the ACTUAL FUCK. Claire: It’s not painful. Jamie: …no one would know? (whatthefuck). Claire: No one would ever know.

Back in 1968, Bree asks Roger if he knows anything about an “incident” that happened between her parents – something big that happened when they were in Scotland. Roger: I was seven. I remember Mrs. Graham crying in the tool shed, because things were broken. She said Frank had lost his temper and smashed all the things. She wasn’t crying because he broke stuff, though. Bree: My father had a temper, but he controlled it! A lot! When did this happen? Roger: 47 or 48?

Bree remembers a lockbox her father kept in a closet, and she knew where he kept the key, so one day she opened it. There were letters from Rev. Wakefield, mostly academic stuff, but one letter mentioned an incident and it was big and possibly bad, and totally something he didn’t want to spell out on paper. It scared Bree, and she never looked at it again. Roger: He kept a journal every night; there are boxes of them! We can go looking for them, if you don’t mind getting grubby. “Grubby doesn’t bother me, you should see my bedroom! …that didn’t come out right.” It did not.

In the village, Claire drives to the land records office – it has a St. Andrew’s Cross and Free Scotland painted on the wall. The clerk inside says that she traced the land records for Lallybroch, and found a Deed of Sassine from 1745 that transferred ownership of Lallybroch from one James Fraser to James Jacob Fraser Murray. The transfer was witnessed by Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser and a Claire Beauchamp “…well, it’s a bit smudged, but I think her surname’s Fraser as well.” Claire holds the parchment in her hand and touches her own signature from 220 years ago. After Young Jamie, it stayed in the Murray family for generations. The clerk helpfully made a copy of all the documents for Claire. Claire asks if the clerk could run a genealogical search for Roger Mackenzie, as well.

Back at the manse, Bree comes in, and Claire smiling, asks her how was the date? “It wasn’t a date.” Claire allows that he is handsome (yup) and intelligent (yup) “Not to mention, he has a lovely physique.” (YUP) “Who says physique? STOP.” Claire asks where they went, and Bree tells her Fort William. “Have you been?” “Once. Didn’t much care for the place.” Claire tells Bree that she just puttered around the village. “Places you and Daddy went before?” “…some.” Bree turns to face Claire head on and asks if she misses Frank. Claire says of course, and Bree’s like doesn’t always seem like it, or that you ever loved him. Claire: What a thing to say! She did love him. Really.

8:17 am: Claire and Jamie have been staring at that bottle of yellow jasmine for like, 20 minutes. Jamie: This would be actual facts murder. Dougal is peeking through the door, while Claire’s like one life for thousands. I’m good with that math. Ross (or Kincaid) enters to call Jamie to the field, and after he leaves, Jamie hands Claire the bottle. “You’d have to move quickly.” Dougal enters, snarling in Gaelic, “You ungrateful son-of-a-bastard.” Nice that he won’t insult his sister, even at a time like this. “You filthy whoring witch.” That’s to Claire.

In 1968, Bree and Roger walk into a 60s brutalist building (Inverness College, I think?). Roger needs to meet with the curator, and once he’s done they can start “the great excavation.” Bree will be fine. She wanders a bit, a stumbles into a Free Scotland rally. A woman – a woman with a very familiar voice – is railing that united the United Kingdom was the beginning of the end for Scotland – “We lost more than our independence, we lost our spirit.” Westminster has stolen money, voice, futures – it’s Geillis Duncan! She puts Prince Charles Edward Stuart up with the golden boys Arthur of Wales and Richard the Lionheart. “We’ve all heard of the Battle of Culloden. But imagine how different Scotland would be now if we had won. Where is our Bonnie Prince Charlie today?” The crowd murmurs in agreement. “I. AM. BONNIE PRINCE CHARLIE.” Uh. “You. Are. Bonnie Prince Charlie.” Sure. “WE ARE BONNIE PRINCE CHARLIE.” Mmmmhmmm. The crowd rouses into chanting Scotland! Scotland! While Bree looks around and lets the emotion wash over her.

After the chanting is done, Geillis is handing out flyers, and Bree walks up to her. She liked the speech, but…wasn’t it the Scottish king, James VI that united the Crowns? And Anne, his Scottish granddaughter, who signed the Acts of Union? Sure, Geillis says, but Anne was Anglican, under the influence of Westminster so…she wasn’t a REAL Scot. Bree: Would have been trading one king for another though, yeah? Nah, Charlie was a Catholic and a Scot (who never set foot in Scotland until the 45, didn’t know the language or the culture, and was half Polish BUT WHATEVER), unlike the various Georgies and the German Hanovers (descended from the House of Stuart BUT WHATEVER) so Charles’ loyalty would have been to the Scots. Bree is unconvinced by this argument.

Geillis cocks her head and surmises that Brianna is American. “So why are you here?” Bree: I’m a history student, and I like watching history being made. (Man this past month in 2016 would have THRILLED YOU NO END, BRIANNA.) Roger finds them at that point, and Geillis invites them to another big rally with the White Roses of Scotland. “We’ll be making history.”

In a low stone building-the museum at Culloden – Claire eyes a wax figure of Charles – it’s…well, I’ve seen worse. A man walks over and says “tall fellow, wasn’t he?” Claire: Not that tall in real life. “He could have been great. He had the name, the cause, great men who were willing to lay down their lives for him. THey’ve taken a fool and turned him into a hero .” She wanders off while the dude looks at her like “whaaat the fuck.” Another, older couple peers into a display case and wonder what a thing is – it’s a case of artifacts from Culloden Moor, and the thing is a piece of amber. With a dragonfly in it. The wedding present from Hugh Monroe.

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At 8:18 am, Jamie tells Dougal that’s it’s not what he thinks. Dougal: Do think I’m stupid. She was urging you to murder of your prince? Dougal says that he knew Claire was a traitor the first time he clapped eyes on her. Dougal monologues some about how this is all about him, and Dougal sees a dirk on the table, while Jamie eyes his sword. Dougal calls Claire some more names, and Jamie’s like hold up now. Dougal draws his sword, and the fight begins in earnest – in close quarters, between a man who taught the other how to fight. Jamie has Claire on his side, though, and she smashes Dougal over the head with a bit of furniture, which gives Jamie the advantage. Jamie, with Claire’s help, slowly plunges the dirk into Dougal’s heart. Both Claire and Jamie need a minute, and Jamie weeps, “I’m so sorry, uncle.”

In 1968, Bree and Roger enter a storeroom and find the Reverend’s journals. It’s dark, and dusty, and gross, and when Bree opens one, a large rat skitters away. Bree is less freaked out than I would be, and Roger hands her a flashlight – whether for light or smashing is unclear. She tells him it’s too late to not be taken by surprise, and he’s like what, do you want me to come up with a rat satire on the spot? She has no idea what that is – it’s a song you sing to let the rats know how poor the eating is so they go away. He then breaks into song, and Bree is sardonically delighted.

Roger gets distracted by a small toy airplane – the kind he used the play with as a Wee Roger, when Bree sees a box labeled Randall. In it, there’s BlackJack’s letter of commission, signed by George II. Further down in the box is a letter from Frank to the Reverend – the Reverend was doing research on BlackJack, but Frank told him to stop, “He’s not the man I thought.” They take the boxes into the library, where there is more light and less rats.

8:26: Thing Two comes in and find Jamie and Claire over Dougal’s body. “I’d have torn out my one good eye to keep from seeing this.” He moves to leave and tell…someone…and Jamie stops him. He begs for two hours before Thing Two tells anyone, so he can tie up some ends, and then he’ll come back and answer for what he’s done. Thing Two agrees to two hours, in memory of the friendship they once had. Two hours.

1968, Culloden Battlefield. Claire walks among the clan stones, hearing Frank’s explanation of the battle and how Culloden was the end of the clans and the Highlander way of life. A woman stands, with a bunch of heather, in front of the Fraser stone. Claire walks up and also looks at the stone, and the woman asks her if she’s a Fraser. “Yes. I am.” The woman smiles kindly, and leaves. Claire looks at the stone, and begins to talk to it. To Jamie.

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“I swore I’d never foot in the horrid place. But here I am, and you’re here, too. Or your bones, at least. I’m not going to cry, because you wouldn’t want that. And besides, I’ve come with good news. You have a daughter, Brianna. Named after your father, just as I promised. Jamie…I was angry at you for such a long time. You made me go and live a life that I didn’t want to live. But you were right, damn you. Brianna was safe, and loved, and raised well. But sometimes oh, when she turns and the light catches her red hair and I see her smile in her sleep, it takes my breath away. Because I see you.” Claire tells him about Brianna’s birth, and then everything, everything she can remember. No tears. “Bet you didn’t think I could do that, did you?” That day at the stone, they said a lot, but she never could bring herself to say. But she’s on Culloden, and it’s time now. She places a hand on the stone. “Goodbye, James Fraser. My love. Rest easy, soldier.”

In the library, Bree and Roger are going through the boxes, and Bree finds the newspaper story about Claire’s return. “Kidnapped by the fairies.” Roger guesses this is the incident. Bree wants to see what the Revered had to say in his journals. “Are you sure about this? You may not like what you find.” Brianna, her father’s daughter, wants the truth.

Later, Claire’s come back, and is pouring tea with Brianna flounces into the room. Claire asks if she’d like some tea, and Bree snaps that what she’d like is to know precisely what Claire has been doing the past two days. She doesn’t buy this “puttering” nonsense. Claire asks what’s going on, and Bree ask, “Did you see him? My father?” She doesn’t mean Frank, being dead and all, she means her father, the man Claire was with for three years. Claire is clearly not quite prepared for this conversation.

“Bree…it’s complicated.” Bree think it’s pretty simple – the newspapers have the date of Claire’s return, six months before Bree was born. Bree can do math. Roger enters at this impasse saying that he found something else, but Roger can read a room (“Oh.”) and tries to retreat. Bree won’t let him, “Stay! It’s your house, and you haven’t lied to anyone.” Claire tries to say that she’d rather they talk alone, but Bree’s having none of it. Claire asks them to sit.

Yes, Claire says, there was another man, and she loved him. And yes, he was Bree’s real father. Bree: You lied, all my life. Claire: Frank didn’t want you to know. Bree: Don’t you DARE blame this on him. Claire explains that Frank wanted to raise Bree as his own, he insisted that she not be told, and that’s why they moved to the US. Bree asks if the real reason they’re in Scotland is so she could have a surprise introduction to her real father. No, Claire says, it’s not possible. Bree: Because he has no interest in meeting me? No, he’s dead. And Claire promised Frank she wouldn’t tell Bree, so she hasn’t even ever said his name. “But now you know. And I need to tell you about him. About your real father. Jamie Fraser.”

Bree: I don’t want to know anything about him. Not one thing. She gets up, and Roger holds her back. She did say she wanted the truth, and here it is. Bree sits. Claire begins with telling Bree that Jamie loved her, so much, and he would have raised her himself, except…she stops and gathers herself. “If it wasn’t for the Battle of Culloden.”

8:34 am: Jamie to Murtagh: I’ve killed Dougal Mackenzie. Murtagh’s face is perfection in that I’m surprised but not really surprised kind of way. He allows that he’s not that surprised (Fergus is), only that it took Jamie so long. Jamie: Um. Murtagh: Whatever. What’s to do, then? Jamie pulls out a paper – it’s the deed of sassine. It’ll keep the estate safe from the crown, who can’t seize it from a kid who never went to war. Claire notes that it’s dated from a year ago. Yup, that was it was clearly NOT in Jamie’s possession when he joined the rebellion. All he needs are witnesses – Claire and Murtagh. Jamie is going to have Fergus ride to Lallybroch. Fergus doesn’t want to leave Jamie, but Jamie insists – the deed needs to get to Jenny, and it’s important that someone here remembers. Who lives, who dies, who tells your story, eh?

Bree, listening to this, is like, mom, you are crazy. Roger is uncomfortable, and Bree’s all, I’m not five. I don’t buy this shit. Claire assures her that Frank was her father in every way that matters except one. And she’s just like Jamie, “Your hair, your mannerisms…and he would have raised you if it wasn’t…” “For the Battle of Culloden? OH MY GOD STOP.” Claire pulls out her copy of the deed of sassine – but Bree won’t even look at it. “Just admit it! Admit that you are not a perfect person. Own up to the fact that you fucked some other guy…just like a million other bored housewives.” “I WAS NOT BORED! And what Jamie and I had was a hell of a lot more than fucking! He was the love of my life!” They both stop, appalled for different reasons. Bree: Why are you doing this? Claire: It’s the truth. Bree: Two people know what the truth is, and one of them is dead. Too bad it wasn’t you. That was way harsh, Bree.

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8:37 am: Claire and Murtagh sign the deed, while Jamie tells Fergus to ride fast, stop only to sleep and to hide well when he does. “You’re a soldier now, mon fils. I love you like a son.” Claire hugs Fergus fiercely. “Like our OWN son.” Fergus glances at Murtagh, and Murtagh bows to him. Fergus moves off.

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In a pub, Bree shoves a letter back at Roger, and is like that proves jack shit. Roger allows that he doesn’t know what it means, but the Reverend thought it meant something. Bree: My mom is crazy, that’s the important thing. Roger: Don’t lash out at me, but that deed did look authentic. Bree: She saw this thing that had a woman with the same name, she’s using it to fantasize, whatever. Roger: Oooooor….she’s telling the truth? Bree: Don’t. Might lash out at you after all. Roger: Look, you said you could never get close to her, and that she always seemed to be in another world, right? Maybe she’s trying to show you. Bree: So you think she might have traveled 200 years into the past? Through a stone? Roger: Doesn’t matter what I think. She believes it. Just saying, keep an open mind? Bree: I prefer an open tab.

Back at the manse, Claire looks through the box of clippings and letters, musing about being surrounded by ghosts. She finds the flyer for the White Roses meeting with Geillis Duncan – but not as a ghost. It is the year that Geillis said when they took her to be burned at the stake, and she’s THERE. Her name is Gillian Edgars.

Claire drives to a house, inside is a picture of Geillis with a dude, and the dude answers the door. He tells Claire that Gillian isn’t there-  he’s Greg, her husband. He lets Claire inside (she’s told him she’s an old friend), and she asks if she knows where Gillian is, she won’t be in the area long. She’ll likely be with her Roses, but “I’ve not kept up.” He gives Claire a whiskey, and explains that Gillian hangs with the bloody Nationalists and spends all her time and his money on courses – folklore and whatnot. She’s filled up a bunch of notebooks, so… “Why not just learn to type? Get a job if she’s bored?” So she left, and he hasn’t seen her in weeks. He asks Claire to tell Gillian to please come home, he loves her. He’s just….given up. And dozes off, so Claire grabs a bunch of notebooks and leaves.

In the pub, Roger is musing that the pub was probably built around 1820 (so it’s new, aye?) when Gillian pops around. Bree and Roger missed a great rally. Bree says that she and Roger are just having a whiskey (“It’s been a bit of a tricky day,” agrees Roger) “My mother’s INSANE,” says Bree, in that slightly over-enunciated slur of the inebriated. Gillian notes that this is a sentiment echoed by daughters everywhere (word) (love you mom!) (but you’re sometimes crazy). Bree says that she’ll try to catch the next rally, but Gillian is planning on leaving that night. To further the cause. “But don’t stop asking the hard questions. That’s the way the world changes.”

At the Manse, Claire reads through Geillis journals, full of convoluted notes on the art and science of time travel. Gillian had studied and prepared for her journey. Geillis believed that one needed a human sacrifice and gemstones to protect the traveller, and Geillis was planning on going through Craigh na Dun, and soon. “Sadly, I knew how that journey would end, with Geillis burned on a pyre in Cranesmuir. I had to stop her.”

8:43 am: Jamie tells Murtagh to get the Lallybroch men OUT – no one will notice if they sneak off, there’s too much chaos. “Tell them the order comes from me and they’ll follow without question.” Send them home. Murtagh asks if Jamie is sure, and Jamie is – this is over, and won’t be won by the Highlanders, and he doesn’t want his kin to die for nothing, no matter how righteous the cause. Murtagh asks Jamie what he’s going to do, and Jamie’s plan is to take Claire to safety, and then come back to fight and die on Culloden. Murtagh thinks for a second, and says that he’ll get the Lallybroch men off on the road home, but then he’ll be waiting to fight at Jamie’s side – he’s not going to let his godson die alone. “I won’t have you dying for nothing.” “I won’t be. I’ll be dying with you.”

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At the manse, Bree comes in while Claire is sitting at the dressing table. Bree doesn’t want to argue, she’s willing to agree that she has a father that isn’t Frank, but she doesn’t want to discuss the whole time travel delusion. She does want to know more about Jamie. “Tell me about him.” Claire is perfectly willing to do this – he was tall, and had red hair, his father’s name was Brian, he spoke French, played chess, his sister’s name was Jenny. “It would take too long to tell you everything about him, but I promise I will.” Claire says that she visited his grave on the moor and was telling him about Brianna- and Bree’s like nope, this is where I tap out.

“I didn’t intend to fall in love. In fact, I fought against it. But I couldn’t deny what I felt for him. I tried, but I couldn’t. It was the most powerful thing I’ve felt in my life.”

In the library, Roger is at the desk, and Claire comes in to pick up the White Roses flyer. Roger asks how things are going, and Claire’s like, well, we’re talking! “A fair improvement on shouting.” Claire asks if Roger knows Gillian Edgars, and he says not really, but Bree does, kind of. Bree enters and says yes, Gillian is great! A little crazy on the nationalist front, but “…I liked her.” Claire asks if Bree knows where she is? Bree doesn’t know at that moment, but Roger says that they ran into her at the pub, and she said she was leaving town that night. “Something about going somewhere to further the cause.” FUCK, says Claire. She’s going through the stones NOW. Bree reminds everyone that she tapped out of this discussion HOURS ago.

Claire: Look, Gillian Edgars is Geillis Duncan from the witch trial, she saved my life, so now I should go save hers. She looks at Roger. “Except I can’t.” Why? “Because of you.” What? When Roger told Claire that he was a MacKenzie, she had a genealogical trace done, and he’s descended from Geillis and Dougal’s son, so…“You’re saying my ancestors were the war chieftain and the witch?” Basically. “Don’t drag Roger into this!” Claire’s like, nah, he’s got the same right to know who he is that you do, so hush, child. Roger: So assuming all of this is true, we DO have to stop her, right? Claire: But if she doesn’t go back, then the baby isn’t born, then Roger isn’t born, so…Roger: But I’m here now, so…? Claire: I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS WORKS.

Roger: So, we could like…warn her, maybe? Claire: Yes! I could warn her not to draw attention to herself? That might work. Bree: WHAT ARE THE TWO OF YOU SMOKING WHY ARE YOU FEEDING HER DELUSIONS. Whatever, Bree, get in the car, losers, we’re going shopping. Bree stomps out, and Roger chases after her – look, we get Claire and Gillian in the same place, and see what happens? That could make Claire admit she’s making it all up. Or Gillian is equally crazy, and thinks she can travel through a stone into the past? “Then we all get to watch her slam her head into a 5 ton block of granite.”

8:54 am: The army is marching to the battlefield, while Jamie and Claire walk against the flow to a horse. Claire asks where they are going, and Jamie says that he won’t get far, but he can get her to safety. She offers that they can run and sail anywhere, but Jamie nixes that – the country is roused and the ports are closed, there’s nowhere he can go. He’s not afraid to die, and death by battlefield is better than any other fate that awaits him. Claire says she’ll stay with him, and he’s like no. Not allowing that. She says that if she’d been burned at the stake with Geillis, would he have left her? He says no, he would have gone to the stake with her, but this is different – he wouldn’t have been carrying her child. She shakes her head – he can’t know that. It’s too soon. He’s like nah, your courses are like clockwork, but it’s been two months, so…“You kept track? In the middle of this bloody war, you kept track?” Jamie asks how long she’s known, and she admits not long.

He says that this child is all that will ever be left of him, and he gave his word to Rupert, and he kept his word to spare BlackJack’s life so there would be a Frank, and now there will be a Frank, so she has a safe haven she can go to. “You promised me that if it came to this that you would go back through the stones.” Claire says that Jamie is her home, and he says that she is his, but the world is ending, so they, Claire and the baby, need to get to a safe place with someone who will care for them both. She keeps shaking her head as he mounts the horse, and he holds out his hand. “Claire, there’s no time!”

At Craigh na Dun in 1968, there’s splashing on a prone body. Roger’s car drives up to find Greg Edgar’s car, and Claire’s like, fuck, it’s happening NOW. A lighter flicks, and drops on the body and lights it on fire. Claire hurries them up the hill, and Brianna wonders at the smell, and Roger says that, “it smells like a fucking barbeque.” At the stones, Geillis, in 18th century garb, watches the body burn, then turns to the stones – they’re roaring. She runs to the center stone while Claire runs, yelling “Geillis, NO.” Geillis embraces the center stone and vanishes.

Roger: “Where did she go?” Bree: “She went right through the stone!” All three of them can hear the buzzing from the stones, and all three look at Greg Edgars’ burning body. Claire sends Roger to go get help, and Bree looks at the stones, then at her mother.

Claire and Jamie ride to Craigh na Dun, it’s not far, clearly. Claire’s hair has come out of it’s pins, and she doesn’t want to go. “How will I explain all this? How can I go back?” Jamie’s like, I don’t know, that’s your problem. He admits that Frank probably won’t want to hear about Jamie, “But if he does, tell him I’m grateful. And tell him I trust him, and tell him that I hate him to the very marrow of his bones.” The stones are buzzing, and Claire’s just, not ready. She begs Jamie to come with her, they’ll figure it out. Jamie says he can’t, and he means that – he can’t hear the buzzing. And even if he could – he touches the stone and nothing happens – it’s not his place.

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“But I’ll find you. I promise. If I have to endure 200 years of purgatory…But when I stand before God, I’ll have one thing to say to weigh against all the rest. Lord, you gave me a rare woman. And God, I loved her well.” They fall to the ground, and have one last, frantic, fuck before the cannons start. Claire pulls the bit of dragonfly in amber out of her pocket and gives it to him. “You keep it with you. Blood of my blood.” “Bone of my bone.” “As long as we both shall live.”

The cannon fire continues, and Jamie gives Claire a ring, the ring from the premiere – that belonged to his father, and she’s to give it to the baby. “I’ll name him Brian. After your father.” They touch foreheads, and he turns them toward the center stone, neither willing to look away. Claire says she loves him, and he loves her. One last kiss, then he turns her toward the stone, and he takes her hand and as they touch it, he says, “Goodbye, Claire.”

Cut back to the dark in 1968 – Brianna is saying, “It’s true.” Yup. “Everything you said is true.” Yup. Was that her husband? Claire thinks so. Bree asks if that’s how it works – that someone needs to die to travel through the stones. Claire: Geillis believed that, but no one did for me, so…They head down the hill, and Bree goes, wait a second – is this is the last place you saw my father? Claire: Yes. Bree, FINALLY, says she believes everything Claire said, but from now one she only wants the truth – no more lies. Claire smiles, because in this like so many other ways, Brianna is like Jamie. “Yes, only the truth from now on.”

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As dawn begins to break, Bree and Claire are sitting on the hill, when Roger comes back. He’s called the police (anonymously, because who wants to be involved in this?), but who knows how long it will be before they come around. Bree consideres for a second, and tells him to tell Claire what he found.

Roger pulls out a letter – the Reverend did some research at the request of Frank, research he doesn’t know if this tidbit was sent on to Boston. After the battle, some Jacobite officers, seriously wounded, took refuge in a house, and hid there for two days. They were all taken out to be shot, but one, from the Fraser of Lovat’s regiment, escaped execution. Claire’s like, there were a bunch of Frasers. Yeah, Roger says, but only five officers, and four of them have their names on a plaque in the church in Beauly, so we know they died. That leaves one, James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser. “My father,” Bree says. Claire absorbs this – he meant to die, but he didn’t. The sun starts rising as the theme from the dance of druids comes up – he survived. Which means, Claire realizes, as the sun comes up over and through the stones, “I have to go back.”

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Elyse: OMG Claire’s perfect 1960’s eye makeup. I’m not a fan of the 60’s aesthetic generally speaking, but I love that eye makeup.

I’m also pleased with the casting of Roger (why is his accent so sexy) and Brianna. And I need Brianna’s plaid scarf. I need it immediately. I also require Claire’s glasses. Not her hideously puffy hair though. Seriously, what did they do to poor Catriona’s hair!? How much Aquanet was involved?

And Bonnie Prince Charlie compares himself to Christ. Cuz he’s not arrogant or anything. Is it bad that I’m 1000% down for a plan to murder him?

OH HEY LET’S GO LOOK AT FORT WILLIAM WHERE YOUR SEKRET DADDY WAS RAPED. GOOD FIRST DATE ROGER.

Honestly the Claire-Heartbreak-Tourism montage was a little too much for me. I understand why it needed to be in the episode, but it felt overdone sometimes, especially when she was talking to Clan Fraser’s headstone.

Also why would Brianna want Roger to witness her mom discussing her infidelity. They’ve known each other for like two minutes. That makes no sense to me. Also while I totally understand Brianna’s reaction (and mine would be likely similar) as a viewer I’m so invested in the Claire/Jamie storyline that her tantrums are hard to swallow. Honestly, Claire needed to slap her at least once (and I’m surprised she didn’t).

Also Jamie knows a lot about Claire’s period which is kind of adorable. “In the middle of this bloody war, you kept track!” Also I’m jealous of Claire’s super regularity. She’s on track even during war.

“Lord you gave me a rare woman. God, I loved her well.” That’s fine. I”ll just be over here sobbing.

Overall verdict: I NEED THE NEXT SEASON RIGHT NOW!

RHG: Well that was a ride. Claire’s 60s hair was… distracting. I mean, it was on point, and correct,and good job Emmy-nominated Terry Dresbach, but (spoilers) thank god we won’t have to see that much next season.

Brianna Randall Fraser is a difficult character (and she’s not that well-written in the books, even Gabaldon has admitted that), and to be honest, she’s a pain in the books, too. I think Sophie’s American accent wasn’t great (and there were some words where it just slipped), but hopefully she’s had some time to work on it during the hiatus.

RICHARD RANKIN IS A VERY ATTRACTIVE MAN.

I liked that almost everyone got a little moment as their send off for the season – Fergus, Dougal, Thing Two, Murtagh – they all got some finality. I’ll miss all of you. I’m also SUPER ANGRY that the Emmys continued to Emmy, and that the only nominations were for costumes and production design, and NO acting awards. Cait, Sam, and Tobias were robbed, and YEAH I KNOW WHO I’D BUMP TO MAKE ROOM FOR THEM. YES I DO.

That wraps up Outlander for us for the season. Poldark, excellent methadone for your Droughtlander DTs, starts airing on Sept 4th in the UK and Sept. 25th in the US, and we’ll be back for that.

Stay cool, everyone.

Guest Rant: Feral Sins by Suzanne Wright

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Rant

Feral Sins

by Suzanne Wright
February 19, 2013 · Montlake Romance
ParanormalRomance

NB: This is a guest rant. Many years in the making I believe. It’s aged in a notebook like fine wine. Decant it with care and savor!

The backstory on this is that, like, 4 or 5 years ago, I accidentally late-night-bought a free ebook that threw me into such a rage that at like 3AM I decided to write down all my feelings about it. I think I meant to submit it to SBTB. But I think at the time just writing it all down made me feel better about everything.

Cut to now, several houses and cities later, and I find this old notebook containing many things including this old rant. I’ve cleaned up the writing a little bit, but I was too amused with past me’s anger to not send this to anyone, especially its intended audience. So here is my 5 year old review of Feral Sins by Suzanne Wright.

This is a cautionary tale of buying an Amazon Kindle book without reading the description or any reviews. In my defense, it was accidental. Had I read the reviews, I know I would not have read this book. But, alas, while shopping on my Kindle, my finger slipped and I bought a book. A book I deeply regret and ended up DNFing around the 70% mark.

This book didn’t start out so bad. Because of my accidental purchase, I forgave the grammatical errors and awkward sentence structure. The plot reminded me of a Shelly Laurenston book (which I adore), with slightly less interesting characters, aside from our heroine, Taryn. Taryn is a latent werewolf – as in, she can’t shift. However, she’s a powerful healer and a self-described sarcastic bitch. I don’t mind this in a heroine, preferring it to TSTL heroines or the weepy virgin stereotype.

Her father doesn’t care about her, and plans for her to be mated against her will to a horrible alpha who wants to make her his slave. At the beginning of the novel, she is kidnapped by our hero Trey (in hindsight, the kidnapping is a warning sign) who proposes the plan of them pretending to be mated so she won’t end up with the Jerkface Alpha and so Trey will gain an alliance with her father. Their plan succeeds, she moves in with his Pack, and the problems begin.

Before I get to the scene that made me DNF this book, let me list the pros and cons of the first 70%:

Pros:

1) The shifters. This world has an interesting take on the wolves. The wolf is almost a different person inside, with separate emotions. They have “true mates,” but can imprint on someone else if something should go wrong. They live in packs in houses together, have alliances, and a council. I liked this world-building.

2) Taryn. I liked her. She was funny, sarcastic, and pragmatic. However, at times I did have trouble understanding why she stayed with Trey.

3) The original plot. It was interesting and different, I liked that they were pretending to be mates and the true love bond didn’t snap in instantly.

Cons:

1) The rest of the plot! Dear lord, this book loves to introduce conflict and then get rid of it in insulting-to-the-reader ways.

Examples: The original Jerkface Alpha plot is tied up about 2 days after Taryn moves in with Trey, way too easily. I thought he would be more of a villain, but nope! It all works out neatly!

Also, at one point Trey assigns one of his men to be Taryn’s bodyguard. BG falls in love with her, offers to leave when he does so, freaks her out, and then stops talking to her when she starts seriously boinking Trey. Later, Trey is all “You can’t talk to my woman. She’s Sad. This makes me Sad.” And BG is all, “Sorry for being in love with you. I’m over that. You and Trey r so cute! xoxo!” to Taryn and she’s all “Yay!” This was wrapped up way too easily, IMO.

Finally, a major conflict is whether or not Trey and Taryn are soulmates. This is…you guessed it…tied up rather neatly 5 seconds after being introduced. This is when I realized that the main plot for the last 50% of the book would be “will Trey accept her love” and “who is betraying Trey??” Argh to the first, meh to the second.

2) Trey. So…he’s supposed to be “psycho,” but to me he acted less psycho than all the other wolves. He’s also emotionally repressed. He’s insanely obsessed with Taryn, but he doesn’t love her because he can’t know love. This is literally my least favorite trope at this point.

3) The side characters. They were all flat with one character type apiece. We have prudish grandma, bitchy slut blonde, guy who only speaks in pick-up lines (literally why), BG with crush on Taryn, geek, and girl who cooks. All of them (of course!) love Taryn except (of course!) the bitchy blonde.

5) The sex. Look, I love sex in a romance novel. I love erotica. But this sex often seemed a little rapey, which can be up to interpretation. This was of the “You want me, but won’t admit it, but you are wet and so you are MINE!” and I didn’t feel like there was enough clear consent. A vagina producing moisture does not equal consent. I think that their “alphaness” was supposed to make this a non-issue, but it was a problem for me.

Which brings me to the WTF, DNF-causing, ruiner-of-a-mediocre-book scene:

For Trey’s birthday, Taryn agrees to submit to any fantasy he has for one hour. So he chooses group sex. It’s not that I have a problem with group sex per se, but rather how it’s presented in this book. It’s arranged without Taryn’s foreknowledge, entirely by Trey. All 6 guys in the pack come in and do…whatever they want to her (apparently they have all been harboring fantasies about her). Earlier in the book, Taryn won’t even perform oral sex on Trey and now she’s deepthroating six guys. What??

And before Trey was all Overpossessive Alpha Male and wouldn’t let anymore touch her, and almost killed BG for wanting her. He also admitted earlier that he’s shared women before but Taryn’s different. What??

But mostly, it wasn’t so much that it was out of character for Trey so much as in the beginning it really seemed as though Taryn does not want this, but then she gets turned on, and that’s when I gave up. Look, I’m all for promising your SO access to their kink on their birthday, but I think saying “whatever you want baby” does have some limitations. Like, my BF knows I am terrified of mascots, so if I told him “whatever you want” and then he came in in a mascot costume, I would definitely be within my rights to back out. Or if he brought in his 6 closest bros. Who live in our house. So I gave up on this book at this point.

I then went to look at the Amazon reviews and found that the negative reviews all agreed with my perspective that what could have been a 3.5-4 star book became a 1 star or DNF at that point. In my opinion, the first 20% is a SBTB B/B+, the middle 50% is a C, and the book as a whole is a DNF. I assume Trey and Taryn get a HEA, but I couldn’t care less at this point.

*Note from present-day me: I can honestly say that 5 years later, I definitely remember this book, but only because of the last scene. I honestly think this review was being kind as I vaguely remember having serious issues with the repetitiveness and poor editing. But I don’t remember much of the plot. Much like HABOs, I guess we only remember the most bonkers parts of books! I would be interested to know if anyone in the Bitchery has read this book and if so, what they thought of it! Perhaps it isn’t as bad as past me thought it was…

Guest Squee: “My Dad Wrote a Porno” Podcast

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My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast logoI was going to ease you guys into this review, but then I remembered that the Bitchery are not an audience that needs to be eased into these sorts of things. So here’s the tl;dr right at the beginning: “My Dad Wrote a Porno” is a podcast where a British man, Jamie, and his friends James and Alice read aloud an erotic novella written by Jamie’s father. It goes about as well as you’d expect.

Written under the penname Rocky Flinstone, Jamie and his friends make their way through all 14 chapters of Belinda Blinked; 1 A modern story of sex, erotica and passion. How the sexiest sales girl in business earns her huge bonus by being the best at removing her high heels. In case the title didn’t give it away, this is not what most people would consider a good book. It’s not what anyone would consider to be a good book; I’m writing this review partly to spare RHG the task of having to read and review it herself. It does, however, make for a truly hysterical podcast, particularly with James and Alice’s hilarious and often utterly confused commentary.

Inspired by “Fifty Colors of Grey” (Rocky’s words, not mine), Belinda Blinked has everything that you would expect in a truly terrible work of erotica. The characters only barely sound human, the plot makes no sense whatsoever, and the sex scenes are not just un-sexy but barely anatomically possible. The main character, Belinda Blumenthal, spends most of her time walking around without her “inner clothing” (again, Rocky’s word choice) and convincing her customers to place large orders for pots and pans by servicing them. The grammar is questionable, the pacing is bizarre, and Rocky’s understanding of female sexuality is more than lacking.

But I’m not here to recommend you read Belinda Blinked. I’m here to convince you that you should not only listen to the podcast, but join me in becoming That Person On Public Transport who is doubled over attempting to hold back her laughter at what she’s listening to. Belinda Blinked is terrible, but “My Dad Wrote a Porno” is truly a gift. How Jamie is even capable of reading his father’s words aloud, let alone recording them and sharing them with the world, is a mystery; we can only be grateful that he is.

So much of the humor comes from James and Alice trying to find any semblance of logic or plot coherence in Rocky’s writing, whether it’s trying to figure out why characters’ names have changed in the middle of a chapter or whether pomegranates hang from trees. Most delightful of all is when the boys ask Alice to comment upon the validity of Rocky’s descriptions of female sexuality and anatomy. The moment in which she explains the actual location of the cervix and why one should not attempt to grab it should be preserved for all eternity.

Despite the fact that the entire show is predicated upon the fact that Belinda Blinked is terribly written and mind-bogglingly bad, it never feels cruel or exploitative. The text is mocked, but it’s clear that James, Alice, and especially Jamie all adore Rocky and his work. Indeed, Rocky has listened to every episode (multiple times) and loves that so many people have been enjoying his writing. Even better, none of their criticisms have anything to do with the fact that it’s a work of erotica; it’s not that the book is about sex, it’s that the sex is illogical, anatomically impossible, and downright hilarious.

The first season of “My Dad Wrote A Porno” is available from whatever podcast service you use (personally, I use the Overcast app) and streaming online. The second season (in which the hosts read Belinda Blinked 2 The continuing story of, dripping sex, passion and big business deals.: Keep following the sexiest sales girl in business as she earns her huge bonus by removing her silk blouse) began July 4th – new episodes appear every Monday, and there are also weekly “footnote” episodes in which the world and fans of Belinda Blinked are discussed. And if you want someone to discuss the book with, please feel free to tweet at me any time – there’s nothing I love more than the reactions of people first discovering Rocky’s words.

My Dad Wrote a Porno can also be found on iTunes!

HaBO: Eye-Patch Wearing Hero Calls Heroine “Minx”

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Help a Bitch OutThis HaBO request is from Jules, who is searching for one of the first romances she read:

I am looking for one of the first romance novels I ever read. I’ve looked everywhere. At this point, I’m either imagining this book or I’m combining several books into one. I “borrowed” this from my mom when I was 12 so it’s been a while.

Here’s what remember:

I read it in the early 90s.

It was a traditional Regency.

The two main characters were friends as children. The hero was wealthy and the heroine was sent away to live with relatives or an orphanage. He called her “minx.”

They meet again as adults, but aren’t sure the other one remembers them. They don’t reveal their identities to one another until he saves her from falling off a cliff.

The hero was wounded in the leg fighting Napoleon. He also wore an eye patch. His worked undercover to find spies or smugglers. I can’t remember which one.

The one thing that I remember vividly about this book is the faux eye patch. At the end of the book, the hero and heroine were soaking in a plunge pool and he removes his eye patch and confesses it was part of his disguise to find the traitors.

This book is reigniting my love of heroes in eye patches.

Contemporary Romances, a Historical, & a Crusie Bundle!

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Nacho Figueras Presents: High Season

RECOMMENDED: High Season by Jessica Whitman is $1.99! Redheadedgirl reviewed this book after RT this year and gave it an A-:

This was a sweet romance and had complex families and also sorts of mild angst and horses and I liked it a LOT. There are two more books in the series, and I’m excited to read those. There’s dudes in polo pants, and also ponies.

World-renowned polo player and global face of Ralph Lauren, Nacho Figueras dives into the world of scandal and seduction with a new fiction series set in the glamorous, treacherous world of high-stakes polo competition.

Georgia never wanted to be a jetsetter. A plain old country vet was fine for her. But one distress call from her best friend and the next thing she knows she’s neck deep in the world of polo’s most elite international players–complete with designer dresses, fine champagne and some of the most gorgeous thoroughbreds she’s ever seen. Some of the most gorgeous men too…

Alejandro Del Campo needs his team to win the season’s biggest polo tournament or else he’s not sure how much longer they’re going to be in business. What he doesn’t need is some sassy new vet telling him how to run his business–and distracting him at every turn. But as they come closer and closer to the championship match, it soon becomes clear that Alejandro wants to win Georgia just as much as the tourney trophy. But can he ever convince her his world is where she truly belongs?

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Listen to Me

Listen to Me by Kristen Proby is either 99c or $1.99 depending on your vendor of choice. Both Sarah and I picked it as part of April’s Hide Your Wallet post. Readers recommend this if you want something sexy, but easy on the angst. However, some expressed difficulty maintaining their interest. It has a 4-star rating on Goodreads.

In New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Kristen Proby’s brand new series, five best friends open a hot new restaurant, but one of them gets much more than she bargained for when a sexy former rock star walks through the doors—and into her heart.

Seduction is quickly becoming the hottest new restaurant in Portland, and Addison Wade is proud to claim 1/5 of the credit. She’s determined to make it a success and can’t think of a better way to bring in new customers than live music. But when former rock star Jake Keller swaggers through the doors to apply for the weekend gig, she knows she’s in trouble. Addie instantly recognizes him—his posters were plastered all over her bedroom walls in high school—he’s all bad boy…exactly her type and exactly what she doesn’t need.

Jake Keller walked away from the limelight five years ago and yearns to return to what’s always driven him: the music. If he gets to work for a smart-mouthed, funny-as-hell bombshell, all the better. But talking Addie into giving him the job is far easier than persuading her that he wants more than a romp in her bed. Just when she begins to drop her walls, Jake’s past finally catches up with him.

Will Addie be torn apart once again or will Jake be able to convince her to drown out her doubts and listen to her heart?

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Duke of My Heart

Duke of My Heart by Kelly Bowen is $1.99! This is a Kindle Daily Deal and is being price-matched. Yay! The heroine in this historical romance is a fixer who tries to smooth over scandals. Some readers felt there was too much going on plot and character wise. But many loved the heroine. Have you read this one?

Scandal can be handled…
Captain Maximus Harcourt, the unconventional tenth Duke of Alderidge, can deal with tropical storms, raging seas, and the fiercest of pirates. But he’s returned home from his latest voyage to find a naked earl – quite inconveniently deceased – tied to his missing sister’s bed. And he has only one place to turn. Now he’s at the mercy of the captivating Miss Ivory Moore of Chegarre & Associates, known throughout London for smoothing over the most dire of scandals.

Miss Moore treats the crisis as though it were no more serious than a cup of spilt tea on an expensive rug. As though this sort of thing happened on the job every day. Max has never in all his life met a woman with such nerve. Her dark eyes are too wide, her mouth is too full, her cheekbones too sharp. Yet together, she’s somehow…flawless. It’s just like his love for her, imperfect, unexpected – yet absolutely true.

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Jennifer Crusie Bundle

The Jennifer Crusie Bundle is $2.99 at select vendors! This bundle includes four books by Jennifer Crusie and is great if you’re looking to complete your digital Crusie collection. Which one out of the four books featured in the bundle is your favorite?

“Wonderful, fresh, funny, tender, outrageous…” says Booklist of Jennifer Crusie, whose wry, witty romantic comedies have made her a New York Times bestseller. This bundle includes four ferociously funny, sexy romances, Getting Rid of Bradley, Strange Bedpersons, What the Lady Wants and Charlie All Night.

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HaBO: Journalist Hero Thinks Heroine is Guilty of Murder

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Help a Bitch OutThis HaBO comes from Terrie, who wants to find a particular historical romance:

I’ve tried SO MANY search terms trying to find this historical romance — that’s because there are so many plot elements.

The heroine was tried for murder, but not convicted. There was a journalist who was convinced of her guilt and even though it’s been years since the trial, he keeps publishing on the anniversary so that her name and “crime” are never forgotten.

So she’s off living an obscure quiet life, while simultaneously being the one who supports her family. She gets some threatening or blackmail-ish letters. The journalist/newspaper man wants to get the “true” story from her and assumes a false identity and starts wooing her. And then when she discovers who he is, he somehow talks her into marrying him, only to go home to deal with her difficult family and the real murderer.

Whew. Any help?

The hero kind of sounds like a jerk, so I wonder if the grovel is sufficient or not at the end.

Pastoral by Nevil Shute

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B+

Pastoral

by Nevil Shute
1944 · William Morrow and Company
RomanceRomantic Suspense

Back when my mom was growing up and general practitioner doctors were the norm, people used to refer to having a family doctor. We don’t have a family doctor, but we do have a family author (as in, an author the family loves, not an author to whom we are related). All the women on my mom’s half of the family, and there are a ton of us, are obsessed with the writings of Nevil Shute. I don’t know that many Americans that stockpile Nevil Shute books like we do, but all you have to do to get a McGowan woman excited is say, “So…tell me about A Town Like Alice” and we just fall all over ourselves with enthusiasm (you can read my enthusiastic review here).

One of Shute’s lesser-known books is Pastoral, a lovely romance between a British bomber pilot and a W.A.A.F. officer (Women’s Auxiliary Air Force). This is a book that is deceptively low on plot. The pilot (Peter) falls in love with the W.A.A.F. officer (Gervase) while stationed in Britain. She likes him, but she doesn’t believe that she is in love with him and she isn’t interested in a relationship that isn’t serious. However, she agrees to a trial courtship to see if her feelings of fondness might actually be something deeper.

Shute often uses the everyday to provide a contrast to a shocking or disorienting or harrowing situation. This means that when you hand a Nevil Shute book to a new reader, you often have to coax them past the first few chapters, which can be mundane to the point of dull. But it also means that when drama actually occurs, the understated way in which people approach it, and the previous establishment of these character’s most everyday, mundane lives, makes the drama much more effective than if the entire book consisted of hair-rending and explosions.

In Pastoral, the characters spend most of their time doing the most ordinary things (mostly fishing) in a lovely countryside setting. However, at night the men who crew the bombers fly over Germany while Gervase and other officers attempt to guide and assist them via radio. Most of the time not all the bombers come back. The calm, quiet, almost boring passages are devastatingly poignant when the reader realizes the context of danger and loss in which these passages take place.

Whether as a coping mechanism or as an innate characteristic, Gervase and Peter have a healthy sense of sardonic humor that is quite adorable. As a professional worrier, I liked Peter’s attempt to cheer Gervase, who worries about her inability to help a missing pilot: “I used to worry about things a bit. But then I took up golf and found what worry really meant.”

Peter and Gervase are very kind each other even when quarreling – their relationship is both accelerated and strained by the pressure of knowing anything can happen at any moment and the fact that as people who are stationed on the same small base they have to see each other every day. The wartime setting means that they go from an afternoon together to fighting about marriage in about one day, and it feels plausible because the sense of urgency in their lives underlies every sunny afternoon’s walk.

I liked it that Gervase doesn’t want to marry because of commitment to the W.A.A.F. It’s refreshing to see the “did I not love duty more” type of conflict with the woman as the person who won’t quit duty for love:

“Look at it the other way round – suppose it was you instead of me. Suppose you went to Wing Commander Dobbie and said you were going to stop flying and leave the R.A.F. because you were in love.”

He glanced up at her, grinning. “That’s all different.”

“It’s not different at all,” she retorted. “The only difference is that you can’t do it and I can, if I care to go the whole hog. But that doesn’t change the fact that we’ve both got jobs to do.

There’s no sex in the book, although Peter and Gervase joke about it and neck quite a bit and get caught by an air commodore while they are making out during a picnic. If there’s anything funnier than a badass pilot acting like a teenager who just got busted by his mom I don’t know what it is.

There’s also not a lot of action – but when there is action, it’s absolutely terrifying. At one point Gervase is working the radio while Peter is on a mission and she has to excuse herself and have someone take over for a moment so that she can go outside and vomit. She’s neither pregnant nor sick – it’s just that tense. I felt queasy myself. Gervase, who is made of sterner stuff than I, just wipes off her mouth and gets back to work.

Despite that scene, the book is for the most part what it says it is (a pastoral). It’s a peaceful breath of happiness and loveliness and optimism in the middle of a terrifying time in history. Like Shute’s books A Town Like Alice and The Pied Piper, it’s also a celebration of people who are both utterly ordinary and utterly extraordinary in their kindness and heroism during extraordinary times. This is a great comfort read about a couple who are comfortable friends as well as enthusiastic lovers. Just be prepared to read a lot of scenes about fishing.


Scifi, Steampunk, & Paranormal Romance

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Sleeping Giants

Sleeping Giants by Sylvain Neuvel is $1.99! I’ve been seeing and hearing things about this book everywhere! It’s a new scifi novel with a female protagonist. Readers say that though this scifi is a little darker and less “feel good,” the loved it. However, some felt a bulk of the book was just setup and information dumping for the next book. It has a 3.8-star rating on Goodreads.

Sleeping Giants is a thriller fueled by an earthshaking mystery—and a fight to control a gargantuan power.
 
A girl named Rose is riding her new bike near her home in Deadwood, South Dakota, when she falls through the earth. She wakes up at the bottom of a square hole, its walls glowing with intricate carvings. But the firemen who come to save her peer down upon something even stranger: a little girl in the palm of a giant metal hand.

Seventeen years later, the mystery of the bizarre artifact remains unsolved—its origins, architects, and purpose unknown. Its carbon dating defies belief; military reports are redacted; theories are floated, then rejected.

But some can never stop searching for answers.

Rose Franklin is now a highly trained physicist leading a top secret team to crack the hand’s code. And along with her colleagues, she is being interviewed by a nameless interrogator whose power and purview are as enigmatic as the provenance of the relic. What’s clear is that Rose and her compatriots are on the edge of unraveling history’s most perplexing discovery—and figuring out what it portends for humanity. But once the pieces of the puzzle are in place, will the result prove to be an instrument of lasting peace or a weapon of mass destruction?

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Runaway Vampire

Runaway Vampire by Lynsay Sands is 99c! This is the twenty-third (WHOA) book in the Argeneau series. The hero is a vampire and – if these Goodreads reviews are correct – the heroine is in her sixties, which readers seemed to either love or hate. Have you read this one?

The latest entry in the sizzling paranormal vampire series featuring the Argeneau family – no one does wickedly funny and irresistibly steamy like Lynsay Sands!

Dante Notte has heard it said that love hurts. He just wasn’t expecting it to run him over in an RV. Still, a punctured lung and broken ribs are nothing compared to the full-body shock he feels whenever he’s near the vehicle’s driver, Mary Winslow. He needs to keep her safe from their pursuers while he rescues his brother. Most challenging of all, he needs to claim this smart, stubborn woman as his life mate.

The naked, injured, insanely gorgeous younger man who clambered into her RV insists they belong together. If Mary wasn’t feeling their incredible connection in every inch of her being, she wouldn’t believe it. But now that the men who took Dante’s twin are after her too, trusting her gut means risking her life for an immortal who’s the very definition of a perfect stranger.

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Must Love Chainmail

Must Love Chainmail by Angela Quarles is 99c! This time travel romance recently won a RITA® in the Paranormal Romance category, though it received C-range grades during our RITA® Reader Challenge.

Reader Harper Gray gave it a C:

Once the story hit its rhythm, the writing was decent, and some of the clunky dialect smoothed out. Overall, it didn’t live up to my expectations and left me feeling pretty ‘meh,’ but it may work better for other readers than it did for me.

Reader Kate gave it a C-:

I started out thinking this book would be a C-. During the middle third, I was ready to bump it up a notch, but given the lack of a satisfying resolution to the Welsh portion of the story—and the over-exaggerated writing style—it ended up staying a C- for me.

Trapped in the wrong time, she needs a knight in shining armor, but this damsel in distress might be the real savior.

A damsel in distress…

With a day planner attached to her hip, the last thing Katy Tolson wants is a romance that threatens her well-ordered life. She’s set to marry the safe–but bland–guy, but something’s not quite…right. A careless wish thrusts her through time into medieval Wales and into the arms of…

A knight in somewhat shining armor…

Sir Robert Beucol, half-Norman and half-Welsh, lives with the shame of his father’s treason and vows to reclaim his family’s holdings and thereby his honor. To prove himself to his king, he must be more Norman than a full-blooded Norman. What better way to show loyalty than to fight his mother’s people? He has no desire to be sidetracked by the mysterious wench with pink toenails, peculiar habits, and passion smoldering behind her cool, collected exterior.

A rebellion that challenges both…

The Welsh uprising fits perfectly into Robert’s plans. Katy’s on the other hand? That’s a no. As they embark on a perilous journey through the heart of Wales, each passionate encounter pulls them closer together, but farther from their goals. When everything they value is at stake, can they save each other and their love?

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The Blades of the Rose Bundle

The Blades of the Rose bundle by Zoe Archer is $4.99! The bundle is four books with lots of adventuring in a historical setting and some steampunk elements. I really enjoyed this series, though I think Warrior might be my favorite. Do you have a favorite?

The Blades of the Rose Bundle

Warrior

The vicious attack Capt. Gabriel Huntley witnesses in a dark alley sparks a chain of events that will take him to the ends of the Earth and beyond–where what is real and what is imagined become terribly confused. And frankly, Huntley couldn’t be more pleased. Intrigue, danger, and a beautiful woman in distress–just what he needs.

Raised thousands of miles from England, Thalia Burgess is no typical Victorian lady. A good thing, because a proper lady would have no hope of recovering the priceless magical artifact Thalia is after. Huntley’s assistance might come in handy, though she has to keep him in the dark. But this distractingly handsome soldier isn’t easy to deceive…

Scoundrel

London Harcourt’s father is bent on subjugating the world’s magic to British rule. But since London is a mere female, he hasn’t bothered to tell her so. He’s said only that he’s leading a voyage to the Greek isles. No matter, after a smothering marriage and three years of straitlaced widowhood, London jumps at the opportunity–unfortunately, right into the arms of Bennett Day.

Bennett is a ladies’ man, when he’s not dodging lethal attacks to protect the powers of the ancients from men like London’s father. Sometimes, he’s a ladies’ man even when he is dodging them. But the minute he sees London he knows she will require his full attention. The woman is lovely, brilliant, and the only known speaker of a dialect of ancient Greek that holds the key to calling down the wrath of the gods. Bennett will be risking his life again–but around London, what really worries him is the danger to his heart…

Rebel

Nathan Lesperance is used to being different. He’s the first Native attorney in Vancouver, and welcome neither with white society nor his sometime tribe. Not to mention the powerful wildness he’s always felt inside him, too dangerous to set free. Then he met Astrid Bramfield and saw his like within her piercing eyes. Now, unless she helps him through the harsh terrain and the harsher unknowns of his true abilities, it could very well get him killed…

Astrid has traveled this path before. Once she was a Blade of the Rose, protecting the world’s magic from unscrupulous men, with her husband by her side. But she’s loved and lost, and as a world-class frontierswoman, she knows all about survival. Nathan’s searing gaze and long, lean muscles mean nothing but trouble. Yet something has ignited a forgotten flame inside her: a burning need for adventure, for life–and perhaps even for love…

Stranger

Gemma Murphy has a nose for a story–even if the boys in Chicago’s newsrooms would rather focus on her chest. So when she runs into a handsome man of mystery discussing how to save the world from fancy-pants Brit conspirators, she’s sensing a scoop. Especially when he mentions there’s magic involved. Of course, getting him on the record would be easier if he hadn’t caught her eavesdropping…

Catullus Graves knows what it’s like to be shut out: his ancestors were slaves. And he’s a genius inventor with appropriately eccentric habits, so even people who love him find him a little odd. But after meeting a certain redheaded scribbler, he’s thinking of other types of science. Inconvenient, given that he needs to focus on preventing the end of the world as we know it. But with Gemma’s insatiable curiosity sparking Catullus’s inventive impulses, they might set off something explosive anyway…

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Links: RWA, Audible, & Cosmetics

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Workspace with computer, journal, books, coffee, and glasses.Happy Wednesday! I hope everyone who attended RWA had a great time and welcome back!

For all the authors in the Bitchery who didn’t make it to RWA, Author Earnings put their presentation online regarding Amazon revenue. I believe these are only the slides from the presentation, so you won’t get the talking points or any elaboration. But hopefully, you still find it helpful!

So many people sent me this link! It would have been a crime not to include it. NPR did an interview with a cover model. And like usual, I wish the interview were longer:

Modeling is a side gig for Baca, who also has an office job. He says he likes the balance of the two.

“On one hand, I get this humbling job that I go into work every day, I work hard, and then I get to step into this other world where I get to be this hero,” he says. “I get to step into a studio, I get to go in there and say ‘OK, now I get to be a gladiator, now I get to be a prince, now I get to be this mountain of molten lust.'”

I’m sure I’m not the only one fascinated by the cover design process, whether it’s with models, art, etc.

Publishers Weekly has announced that Audible will be introducing “short forum audio streaming” and I’m still trying to work out what that means:

In a move that further expands Audible Inc.’s reach beyond the audiobook market, the Amazon subsidiary has unveiled an on-demand, unlimited listening service called Channels. The ad-free service, which is free to Audible subscribers (and was rolled out to some members in beta this spring), features curated short-form audio. Non-subscribers can access the content for $4.95 a month.

Channels listeners will find a consistently updated roster of original programming and exclusive content that includes comedy, episodic programs, lectures, and narrated selections from newspapers like The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and The Washington Post (owned by Amazon founder Jeff Bezos).

It sounds like a podcast service by Audible? Those who had access to the beta, please fill me in!

Kelly Faircloth was also at RWA to accept the 2016 Veritas Award, but she was still kicking ass over a Jezebel‘s Pictorial talking about the Smithsonian’s collection of historical cosmetics:

Like so many of us, the Smithsonian has been collecting cosmetics for decades, except out of historical interest rather than laziness and fond memories of that frosted blue eyeshadow from junior-senior. And now, you can poke through their holdings from the comfort of your own home…

Browsing allows you to watch beauty norms morph from era to era. For instance, they’ve got a razor from the 1920s specially designed for shaving your armpits, because sleeveless dresses that showed your armpits where becoming more customary. Then there’s the loop-de-loop where tanning became hugely popular in the 20th century before giving way to sunscreen and concerns about skin cancer today.

may be in DC in October, as the Cute Boy™ is doing a marathon there. While he’s running, it’s very possibly I could sneak off to the Smithsonian.

Don’t forget to share what super cool things you’ve seen, read, or listened to this week! And if you have anything you think we’d like to post on a future Wednesday Links, send it my way!

The Rec League: Oh, Canada

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The Rec League - heart shaped chocolate resting on the edge of a very old bookReader Mary Star recently sent us an email asking for romances set in Canada. Here’s what she said:

I’m hoping the Bitchery can help me out — I’m going on a cruise to Nova Scotia and New Brunswick this fall and clearly need to start thinking about my reading! 🙂 I like bringing books that sort of evoke of the feeling of the vacation and I’d be all for some romances set in Atlantic Canada, especially anything historical.

I’ve read very little at all set in Canada generally except Anne of Green Gables (which I love) and helped inspire me to explore that part of the world more.

Redheadedgirl suggested The Bride Ship by Deborah Hale ( A | BN | K | G | ARe | iB ), which was mentioned on an early podcast interview she did with Sarah.

This was also the subject of a Good Shit vs. Shit to Avoid post. The comments are a goldmine, but the post is around nine years old. I’m sure there are some newer releases out there, especially with the discovery of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s dreaminess.

What Canadian-set books do you recommend?

Love and Protect by Lori Ryan

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A

Love and Protect

by Lori Ryan
December 29, 2015 · SilverHart Publishing
Romantic Suspense

The world is a great big dumpster fire right now and it’s got me all depressed. So when I picked up Love and Protect by Lori Ryan I was just hoping for a decent romantic suspense read–what I got was a surprisingly comforting, healing book that brought tears to my eyes.

I mean, it’s still a romantic suspense so there is some violence–this isn’t a comfort read the way a traditional Regency is. Also trigger warning for discussions of domestic violence and rape.

The book opens with Laura Kensington planning her escape. Her husband, Patrick, is a rich and powerful man who abuses her–tortures her even. Now pregnant, Laura has saved up some money and is the process of purchasing a new identity when she learns her husband died of a heart attack. Now personally I think Patrick should have died of being slowly pecked to death by really mean parakeets, but okay. This should be a relief to Laura, but Patrick’s shitty, rich, powerful family plans on buying off a judge so they can keep her kid.

Also, as the icing on Laura’s shit cake, Patrick’s business partner was embezzling from the business and plans on killing Laura because he assumes Patrick left her proof of it.

With the help of an ER doctor who figured out she was being abused, Laura flees to a ranch in small-town Evers, TX. The ranch is run by May Bishop and her two sons, Cade and Shane, and they agree to shelter Laura for the time being.

Now this is where the warm fuzzies come in. The ranch is this beautiful safe space where everyone is nice to Laura and treat her with kindness and respect. They respect her emotional and physical boundaries–they don’t bully her into talking about her abuse. They don’t ask for anything in return; they just provide a sanctuary for her and let her heal on her own terms, in her own time.

Cade is especially kind to Laura and cognizant of her needs. He rehabs injured and neglected animals on the ranch, and he has such a wonderful gentleness and understanding about him. In this scene he talks to Laura while she’s having a panic attack while still making her feel safe:

Laura heard a soft voice behind her and heard footsteps walking back toward the house. She slid one hand to the side [away from her face] and saw Cade sit down next to her, arms draped casually over his drawn up knees. He kept his body angled toward the barn and didn’t reach out to her.

“We’ll just stay here for a bit. When you’re ready to get up, you reach out for my arm, and I’ll help you up, okay?” Cade said.

Then, much to Laura’s surprise, he simply talked. He didn’t ask questions or try to figure out why she’d fallen to the ground and covered herself like the town idiot after a harmless touch. He didn’t make a big deal out of the fact that she was practically curled into a ball. He talked about nothing and everything all at once.

“I’ve always loved this time of day. Come to think of it, I love any time of day, but this time is especially nice. Middle of the day, after morning chores are done: animals fed, stalls cleaned, all turned out to pasture. After lunch, I’ve got nothing but playtime to look forward to. Ride a few of the horses. Do some training with my girl, Red.”

Cade’s voice was soothing, calming. A balm somehow on her frazzled nerves. He spoke as if he expected nothing from her, and that in itself was comforting.

Cade is sexy because he’s kind and because he respects Laura. He’s not a beta hero, but he also isn’t an alpha who is going to jump in guns blazing to save her. He respects her trauma, her need to heal, her timetable. Throughout the book he’s very aware of his physical presence and how it might make Laura feel. He always brings himself to her level–sitting if she’s sitting, etc. He always makes sure she doesn’t have to get past him to exit a room. This is such an incredibly thoughtful and insightful way to treat someone who suffered horrible physical abuse that it made my heart hurt.

So often romantic suspense heroes solve violence with more violence–and I get some of that appeal. I get the desire to see a really bad person beaten up or scared or even killed. This book takes a totally different approach, and while Cade does wish Patrick were alive just so he could beat the shit out of him, it’s an approach that I don’t think I see often enough. Ryan focuses her writing on the healing from trauma, not the trauma itself.

Cade, and the magical ranch where horses and dogs and cats are healed and rehabilitated was a balm to my soul as well. Sure there was some action, some sex, some chase scenes–and that was all well done, but this middle bit of the book, on that sleepy ranch where Cade was keeping his distance but still signaling to Laura that she wasn’t alone, man that just SLAYED me.

Then there’s this scene. Laura is in the barn, watching a feral cat give birth:

Laura watched the cat pant and knelt down in front of her. The cat turned wide eyes to her as though as if she didn’t know if she should trust Laura so close to her.

Laura couldn’t help but think how much this must hurt. “When the pain gets to be too much, baby, just go somewhere in your head. Go to your favorite place and leave all the pain behind. Just let it all go.”

Okay, so I’m crying. Laura is working through her abuse, using the coping skills she had to develop to help an animal who is in pain. Yep, sobbing. Right here.

I would recommend Love and Protect to readers who are leery of romantic suspense as well. Yes, there’s the murder-plot side of things, but the book is never bloody or scary. There’s action and some suspenseful moments, but it’s nothing that I think would actively cause anyone to be scared. That said, I read some pretty creepy shit so my tolerance is high. Also, obviously, the themes of domestic violence and discussion of rape will not suit everyone.

But if you’re looking for a feel good book, I think this is it. It made feel better about my world for sure.


NB: Love and Protect is currently 99c at Amazon and Kobo.

Mixed Bag with Amy Jo Cousins, Pilots, & More!

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Sugar Queen

RECOMMENDED: Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen is $1.99! I’ve talked about my love for Sarah Addison Allen before. Her books are literary fiction with magical realism and they’re such perfect comfort reads. I like Garden Spells (her debut) a little better, but this was still a good read.

In this irresistible follow-up to her New York Times bestselling debut, Garden Spells, author Sarah Addison Allen tells the tale of a young woman whose family secrets—and secret passions—are about to change her life forever.

Twenty-seven-year-old Josey Cirrini is sure of three things: winter in her North Carolina hometown is her favorite season, she’s a sorry excuse for a Southern belle, and sweets are best eaten in the privacy of her hidden closet. For while Josey has settled into an uneventful life in her mother’s house, her one consolation is the stockpile of sugary treats and paperback romances she escapes to each night…. Until she finds it harboring none other than local waitress Della Lee Baker, a tough-talking, tenderhearted woman who is one part nemesis—and two parts fairy godmother…

Fleeing a life of bad luck and big mistakes, Della Lee has decided Josey’s clandestine closet is the safest place to crash. In return she’s going to change Josey’s life—because, clearly, it is not the closet of a happy woman. With Della Lee’s tough love, Josey is soon forgoing pecan rolls and caramels, tapping into her startlingly keen feminine instincts, and finding her narrow existence quickly expanding.

Before long, Josey bonds with Chloe Finley, a young woman who makes the best sandwiches in town, is hounded by books that inexplicably appear whenever she needs them, and—most amazing of all—has a close connection to Josey’s longtime crush.

As little by little Josey dares to step outside herself, she discovers a world where the color red has astonishing power, passion can make eggs fry in their cartons, and romance can blossom at any time—even for her. It seems that Della Lee’s work is done, and it’s time for her to move on. But the truth about where she’s going, why she showed up in the first place—and what Chloe has to do with it all—is about to add one more unexpected chapter to Josey’ s fast-changing life.

Brimming with warmth, wit, and a sprinkling of magic, here is a spellbinding tale of friendship, love—and the enchanting possibilities of every new day.

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Off Campus

Off Campus by Amy Jo Cousins is also .99! During a podcast with Joyfully Jay, we learned M/M romance and GLBT romance in general is often very expensive, so a book for under a dollar (+/- tax) is terrific. Publicist Jessie Edwards also called the book fantastic on another podcast episode. The next book in the Bend or Break series is also on sale for $1.99!

Everyone’s got secrets. Some are just harder to hide.

With his father’s ponzi scheme assets frozen, Tom Worthington believes finishing college is impossible unless he can pay his own way. After months sleeping in his car and gypsy-cabbing for cash, he’s ready to do just that.

But his new, older-student housing comes with an unapologetically gay roommate. Tom doesn’t ask why Reese Anders has been separated from the rest of the student population. He’s just happy to be sleeping in a bed.

Reese isn’t about to share his brutal story with his gruff new roommate. You’ve seen one homophobic jock, you’ve seen ’em all. He plans to drag every twink on campus into his bed until Tom moves out. But soon it becomes clear Tom isn’t budging.

Tom isn’t going to let some late-night sex noise scare him off, especially when it’s turning him on. But he doesn’t want any drama either. He’ll keep his hands, if not his eyes, to himself. Boundaries have a way of blurring when you start sharing truths, though. And if Tom and Reese cross too many lines, they may need to find out just how far they can bend…before they break.

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Fly With Me

Fly With Me by Chanel Cleeton is $1.99! This is a contemporary romance and the first book in the Wild Aces series. Readers say that anyone who had a love for Top Gun growing up pretty much needs to buy this book. However, some felt the ending was a bit abrupt. It has a 4-star rating on Goodreads.

From the author of the Capital Confessions Novels comes the first in the steamy Wild Aces Romance series.

U.S. Air Force fighter pilot Noah Miller—call sign Burn—loves nothing more than flying hard and fast. When he meets a gorgeous and sassy woman while partying in Las Vegas, he immediately locks on to her.

Jordan Callahan owns a thriving clothing boutique, but her love life is far less successful. Her luck changes when six feet, two inches of sexy swagger asks her to dance and turns her world upside down.

One scorching weekend becomes an undeniable chemistry that they can’t leave in Vegas. But the long distance relationship and their different lives threaten to ground their romance. And when the dangers of Noah’s job become all too real, Jordan learns being with a fighter pilot means risking it all for a shot at love…

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Secrets of a Proper Countess

Secrets of a Proper Countess by Lecia Cornwall is $2.99! This is a historical romance and though the description is a little vague, it seems like there’s some one night stand-esque action going on, but the hero doesn’t know who the heroine is. Some readers thought the characters experienced more lust than love, while others say that the writing is what would happen if you combined Mary Balogh with Amanda Quick. Have you read this one?

Lecia Cornwall, a brilliant new voice in historical romance fiction, makes a truly spectacular debut with Secrets of a Proper Countess. This Regency Era delight, written in the smart, sensually captivating style of Lorraine Heath and Elizabeth Hoyt, tells the story of a shy, retiring lady who lets her passions run wild while masked and in the arms of an infamous rakish Marquess—a brief yet achingly romantic encounter that forever changes the rogue, who vows to find and unmask his mystery dream lover.

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